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 Post subject: using the 4 agreements
PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 12:06 pm 
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im gonna post this to remind myself of something. to try to stick it in my mind a bit better.

1. be impeccable with my word. this i do try. every min.

2. dont take anything personally. this is the key. dont take what another does personally. remember this jody!

3. dont make assumptions. another key to keep in mind.
4.always do my best.

and im adding in the 5 steps here.

1. HALT. ok. im none of those.
2.determine the problem. something happened i didnt expect. i am stopping and examining my feelings and thoughts. seeing what i should own and what i can change about my perceptions.
the problem is something was said that deeply impacted me.
3. 3 courses of action.
a. attack back to hurt in kind.
b. ignore. i usually end up seething when i try to completely ignore. i have to learn #3 below...
c. explain to the person why i didnt like the words used, why they hurt me, how i feel about it in a non confrontational way.

4. figure out which is best. i think c is best. it acknowledges my feelings and yet is not attacking in kind to another. i need to be careful not to attack back in any form, esp passive aggressive. i need to work on being direct with my feelings. "i feel...because..."
5. do it. i did. i think it was a ok reply. i think it could have used some more work, tho.

i need to use the dont take things personally a bit better. ok, a lot better. i need to learn i can share and its not under my control what another may do with it. and it doesnt mean a thing about me, no matter what they may choose to do.

yes, thats it. the above paragraph. use it, jody. remember it.

i need to quit owning anothers behavior.

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 Post subject: Re: using the 4 agreements
PostPosted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 5:50 pm 
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Just saw this... great work!!

I also really like how you said <i did. i think it was a ok reply. i think it could have used some more work, tho. > it is okay if it's not perfect... it is really good for us (i think) to work on being comfortable with that inbetween place. they grey. looks like you did well with that. it might have been able to use a little more work and it's okay that you sent it the way it is.

Nice work.

Nik

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 Post subject: Re: using the 4 agreements
PostPosted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 7:00 pm 
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Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2005 6:00 pm
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Location: texas
thanks ((Nik)). i am very hard on myself to do things perfectly and i hate to fail at all.

im not like that with others but little is good enough for me in something i have done. i hate it when i mess up. comes from being around people who they can mess up but God forbid i do it. just another ingrained thing in me. no matter what i do, it always could be better...or i fuck it up.

thanks for the kind words:)

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-old saying-


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