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 Post subject: My new perception!
PostPosted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 8:23 am 
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I have long tried to put the four agreements into effect and they have over time brought me a great deal of inner peace.

But I have to say I am starting to see them in a much wider context of the impact they can have in my life.

Following them is not easy. i am a perfectionist in nature and for a time I saw the four agreements in as much a black and white manner as anything else, or any other belief system I have tried to have shoved at me in my life.

I went back to the book this time with my eyes wide open and this time what I gleaned from the book is this overwhelming idea that it is based on the concept of love. Of looking for the good in things that might not be seen otherwise. At actualising a peacful mind rather thanone of conflict. That simply adopting them in an overall sense ultimately brings a love of self.

Prolly nothing major to anyone else but I just thought I would share my reflections on what was another reading of this book, rather than just trying to incorporate the agreements as they are placed on the site here.

I guess in many respects what I discovered is that it allows me to let go of fear....fears of that have bound me, and approach things for a less angry and more fulfilling stand point of love and compassion both of myself and of my fellow man.

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 Post subject: Re: My new perception!
PostPosted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 8:59 am 
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Something I forgot to say was what hit home is that many of the beliefs I have held about myself are based on assumptions, both mine and others. So if I apply them to myself, in effect it brings acceptance and non jugement of self.

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 Post subject: Re: My new perception!
PostPosted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 4:01 pm 
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Tracy wrote:
Something I forgot to say was what hit home is that many of the beliefs I have held about myself are based on assumptions, both mine and others. So if I apply them to myself, in effect it brings acceptance and non jugement of self.


That's a huge realization! How did you come to it?

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 Post subject: Re: My new perception!
PostPosted: Thu Jan 01, 2009 6:41 am 
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I guess in many respects what I discovered is that it allows me to let go of fear....fears of that have bound me, and approach things for a less angry and more fulfilling stand point of love and compassion both of myself and of my fellow man.


I really like what you said here, Tracy. I feel that fear is a major problem me and that's exactly what it is, binding. I love the Four Agreements, too!


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 Post subject: Re: My new perception!
PostPosted: Sat Jan 03, 2009 8:35 pm 
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mobilene wrote:
Tracy wrote:
Something I forgot to say was what hit home is that many of the beliefs I have held about myself are based on assumptions, both mine and others. So if I apply them to myself, in effect it brings acceptance and non jugement of self.


That's a huge realization! How did you come to it?


Jim I haven't had time to delve back into the book and fnd exactly what sparked this. But would be worthwhile me doing so.

I guess what I reaslised it is difficult to adopt these agreements when we already hold so many with ourselves that come from beliefs we grew up with. Those planted for sure in my childhood were based on acting through fear.....fear of punishment and fear of reprimand, not from love..... having not been raised with compassion. I was raised by default to be expected to take things very personally because the attacks were personal.....I learned that things happen because of me....when indeed they don't. I was given responsibilty for other peoples well being, for their needs and feelings when it wasn't mine to hold.

I guess the overall gist I gleaned was this is like rewriting those old agreements and it is difficult cos the trap is self judgement. I took something personally....= i did it wrong/ the agreements don't work etc.... but that in effect is a natural process of changing those agreements. Maybe that is what they call cognitive dissonance? It's not as simple of replacing one agreement with another over night, it takes persistence and practice and really challenging those beliefs/ assumptions. The original agreements were deeply ingrained. But it's those original agreements based on others assumptions that became my own, that need not be. That being the case I can as my own person challenge that and discover my own belief system.

I'm not sure how well I am explaining it, because it was a process of realisation on reading all the other bits in the book.

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 Post subject: Re: My new perception!
PostPosted: Sat Jan 03, 2009 8:50 pm 
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What book is it Tracy?

I find it interesting what you are saying (if I understand you correctly) :)

It reminds me of a certain way I have of thinking about people. For instance, when I was a teenager, some of my friends behaved in certain ways - not-so-good ways. As we grew older, and they of course changed, I found it difficult to stop thinking of them as the people they once were. I needed to change my perceptions of them. Sometimes when people get an idea of the sort of person they think you are, it's hard for them to change their views.

Of course it's harder with children - as children we listen to our parents/families, and often believe what they say about us, even if it's not reality. Sort of like if your parents label you "bad" you begin to believe it. And then it's harder when you work so hard to change and grow, and they still dont' see it.

I think it's really cool that you came to this conclusion!

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 Post subject: Re: My new perception!
PostPosted: Sat Jan 03, 2009 10:17 pm 
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BG, I believe the book Tracy's referring to is "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz - which is the basis of this very forum.

Tracy, it's amazingly powerful book, isn't it?! Every once in a while I dust off my copy (which I've had for like 7 years now) and glean something new. Though I'd read the words before, the timing wasn't right until that moment for me to absorb them.

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 Post subject: Re: My new perception!
PostPosted: Sat Jan 03, 2009 10:31 pm 
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Thank you Ash. :)

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 Post subject: Re: My new perception!
PostPosted: Sun Jan 04, 2009 9:11 am 
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((Tracy)) what a wonderful revelation! You've done the hard work and now it's paying off, eh? Sometimes we don't realise how effective our Tools are until all of a sudden things are easier, more natural, and a sense of peace descends. I had to laugh at the image I got while reading it - you as a smiling Buddhist monk! Not that you look like one, lol, just that your message was very zen and healing and full of growth and that there's a concept in Buddhism that reminds me of your newly-realised vision of the world: A Bodhisattva is anyone who is motivated by compassion and seeks enlightenment not only for him/herself but also for everyone.

Keep at it, girl!

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 Post subject: Re: My new perception!
PostPosted: Sun Jan 04, 2009 10:55 am 
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BG I think in a way I held similar beliefs myself for sometime. Waiting/ wanting for people to see I have changed. Ultimately to gain their acceptance. In a way it was another trap to fall into. Because seeking that outside acceptance is demanding another to change their belief systems. I can't do that for them.

Knowing how long I have worked and still am and how hard it has been to challenge my own. I guess it finds me with compassion I guess also patience for them as a person with their own personal struggles, rather than anger or annoyance that they aren't changing their views of me or the world around them. Part of that is also taking responsibility for my actions and the hurt I may have brought to others. Recognising that other people are more than their outward actions helps me have compassion for myself.

If I know I am working with the four agreements it helps, regardless of what another says or does. It is my agreements with myself that are changing not mine with others. It's an inward process more than it is outward. Although I can well imagine overall it may have an effect on how people come to view me. Or at least how I treat them.

Sure I can hope that others might change their views of me, but it isn't essential to me continuing on my own path and how I view myself.

Ash I think you are right. Life is an on going journey that needs different things at different times.

Marn that made me giggle. I'll take a good look at the link you sent me when I have some time.

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 Post subject: Re: My new perception!
PostPosted: Sun Jan 04, 2009 6:50 pm 
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Tracy, when I first went into therapy, I started changing and some of my relatives could not adapt to how I changed. It was quite a struggle for a while.

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