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I'm trying to ask myself how I can learn from this experience beyond changing my behavior with regards to opening doors. Luckily I can ask my therapist that today.
I hope your T helps.
I'd like to look at the taking it personally thing.
You made a mistake, and it seems you can see it was an understandable one. You didn't have bad intentions, in fact you were trying to help someone. That's a good thing. I doubt very much you'll be letting anyone into anyone's room without first calling or knocking loudly in the future. But it was an unfortunate series of events, and if I were your flatmate, I'd be asking myself why I locked my door to have sex w my GF at a party at my house when someone's handbag was in my room. Not that this needs to be said to him (bc that wouldn't help at all).
How he chooses to respond to the situation has absolutely nothing to do with you. How you respond, how you behave is the only thing within your control. That's why taking other people's behaviour personally doesn't add up. You've checked yourself and can't see how you did anything particularly foolish or thoughtless. I imagine you were profusely apologetic.
But his response, by bitching to others about you and making out you've done something horribly bad is all about him. It's unpleasant, I understand. It's horrible when people are angry with you, especially when there's nothing you can do, or in your situation, really could have done to avoid the event that's triggered their anger. But that's the stuff that's out of your control.
So let's have a look at the consequences of taking this personally: You feel like crap, which doesn't make your life any better. When we feel like crap we tend to make bad decisions, and become reactive. Like you were this morning when you walked in asking to be told to your face. You were confronting him, and that probably only fuels an already delicate situation.
Can you try to forgive him for his behaviour?
Just because someone thinks you've done wrong, doesn't mean you have. Possessing a strong sense of self involves believing in our ability to stand against others at times, knowing that what we believe is right.
And I don't think any of this needs to be said to anyone but you. You can manage this alone. You can't make all the people happy all the time (out of your control) - but you can make yourself happy most of the time. That's the aim.