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 Post subject: Re: Not taking things personally
PostPosted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 10:50 am 
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i didnt take it personally, i was surprised because she is so educated and nothing in our years of knowing each other would lead me to believe she had such a backwards idea of this. i figured if she did, anyone could. if it comes up, i simply say im in counseling. few ask why...i doubt they want to know..lol..and it isnt their business anyways.

few who dont have experience with mental things have a clue..i have come to learn from dealing with a daughter with bipolar. unless they have a person with it also, i have been be met with a blank, becoming suspicious, stare and a uncomfortable silence while they try to figure out a polite way to leave quickly.

there are things i just do not think others need to know. just my T needs to know them. most friendships are just not based on this, even to siblings and such. it seems to me more a .....i dunno the word i want...i dont see the reasons to share it except for my own benefit (bring another into my world of hard work and confusion) and that usually backfires.

the stigma is still out there, deep and well, in society. i have discovered the is few places to discuss mental issues with the "mainstream" public. most are still in the stage of not wanting to face their own issues, much less anothers.

to me, ellen, her response indicated a correlation between counseling=crazy. its sad, because she needed it badly, even had a suicide attempt. but her denial was too strong.

some things i think, if we share with a "non" for lack of a better word....altho i hate that one...we are opening ourselves up to their way of thinking and we may not like it much.

if we dont want to take things personally, some situations are best left not done.

this is just my view, we each have to come to our own about this..

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 Post subject: Re: Not taking things personally
PostPosted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 3:16 pm 
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I agree with you Jody. They don't need to know. It does no good. Very few of my friends could cope with my "mental health issues." I've learned the hard way that it's best to not include them. They either feel sorry for you, look at you funny, or back off. I don't need that.

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 Post subject: Re: Not taking things personally
PostPosted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 4:46 pm 
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jodyisme wrote:
to me, ellen, her response indicated a correlation between counseling=crazy. its sad, because she needed it badly, even had a suicide attempt. but her denial was too strong.


Jody, I said nothing to indicate otherwise, and I'm not sure why you apparently think that I did. I didn't comment on that because there was no need to. It was assumed.

What I was saying is that, it indicates that she has the correlation for herself. It doesn't indicate that that correlation applies for her to other people.

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 Post subject: Re: Not taking things personally
PostPosted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 6:38 pm 
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I've had a different response to telling selected (I don't mean everyone!) friends about being in therapy, so I disagree that it causes trouble. I have had positive feedback and understanding from those I've told. Granted, a few of those friends I told have been or are in therapy themselves, but one isn't and has never been in therapy. She's been there for me always, and will listen to me talk about my sessions and my attachment to my T. I've never had a problem with telling her my diagnosis, and I'm glad I did.

Most people I would not tell, however. In my community, especially, there is still a stigma about emotional problems and it's kept secret. For me, though, I have a need to confide in close friends who understand what I am going through. I totally understand both viewpoints on telling or not telling.


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 Post subject: Re: Not taking things personally
PostPosted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 11:15 pm 
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You're fortunate Wondering. I guess some people have good experiences when they tell friends, and some have bad experiences. Overall, I've had bad experiences. So once burned........ We go by our past experiences. If you hit your head against the wall enough times, eventually you'll realize it hurts. I can honestly say that when I have tried to confide in various friends, nothing good came of it. So I've learned to keep my mouth shut. I'm better off that way.

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 Post subject: Re: Not taking things personally
PostPosted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 12:22 am 
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some good, some bad. interesting. something to weigh when someone is deciding who to tell, or how much.

ellen, i dont follow your logic, to me, why would it indicate to herself it meant she was crazy but not another? we should put this in another thread, i think.

i dont get that...sorry. regardless, to this day she did not get counseling. she is a person who sees a dr about once a week, gets surgery on anything she can talk them into, stays in bed most of the time now, and still whines constantly. she did learn tho, if she takes a OD of pain pills and calls me, i call the cops. no 2 ways about it. i dont mess with that. her family was extremely angry with me. oh well! had she died, i would not have been able to live with it.

anyways...off the subject. sorry, guys.

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 Post subject: Re: Not taking things personally
PostPosted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 7:52 am 
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Jody, there's no need for another thread because I can't say it any differently. People have different attitudes regarding themselves than others. If you can't understand what I mean by that, I can't help you. You'll have to talk to someone who can say it less directly if you don't get that, I guess.

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 Post subject: Re: Not taking things personally
PostPosted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:23 am 
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ok....

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