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 Post subject: Just five stepping
PostPosted: Wed Jun 26, 2013 2:26 pm 
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Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2005 6:00 pm
Posts: 8
Stop / HALT
Just stop and breathe for a moment. Are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? The HALT feelings are physically-based and only temporary. Remember that!
Determine what the problem is
Sure there can be (and usually ARE) more than just *one* problem but even still, write the problem(s) down on a piece of paper.
Come up with THREE possible courses of action
Start with one of your problems and come up with three (and only three - not a hundred, not just one) possible things you could do.
Figure out which one is best for now
You don't have to make a lifelong commitment right now and if things don't work out quite the way you'd hoped they would, you can work the steps again and again and again - just like everyone else does!

HALT - I'm hungry and very, very tired. I'm doing the steps because I feel cross. I have had a busy day without much close relationships - but therapy - which is challenging. This has already helped - I was bound to feel grumpy easily and it's not a great basis for 'a confrontation' when it's based on some temporary stuff.

I expected some friends to be supportive, proud of me and cheerleader me with all the challenges I faced, how hard I worked and at having taken a new step (risk!) of starting my new course. This all seemed a big deal 5 minutes ago before I started doing the 5 steps. What does say about my progress in therapy, my friends, my life choices how I communicate, I'm doomed.

3 courses of action. I'm a bit staggered, I thought dramatic action is needed, now I'm just thinking 'duh' - I messaged about a bunch of stuff at the end of a long day. I hadn't asked what they were doing - I hadn't said anything the day before - I was ill and migrainey - but my message was out of the blue. I'm trying to be more positive and looking towards growth and progress - moving away from a chaos and crisis based life. I'm feeling the tension of moving away from my old coping method of being endlessly helpful - which means if I change my relating to others style, I need to learn some new communication skills and to practice relaxation as I'm going along.

1. Rest, eat and breathe. Doing this now.
2. I can say I felt disappointed that people weren't excited for me - at that moment - as they'd been pretty excited for me the other week.
3. I guess I could ask people to celebrate with me and talk about excitement and fears around change.

I feel sheepish - but this is kind of cool - I think this is the first time I've seen that I've got a choice. Instead of there being a right or wrong way, or a way things 'should' be, I can choose which scenario I'd prefer and act in a way that's more likely (though of course not guaranteed) to get the kind of outcome and the kind of life I'd like to create.

"You did what you knew how to do, when you know better, you do better" Maya Angelou

 Post subject: Re: Just five stepping
PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2013 5:26 am 
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Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2011 3:15 pm
Posts: 39
Congratulations lisacx :)

I really enjoyed reading your post.

I suppose it reminded me that while we are in a struggle we can find better ways of coping.

It sure is a struggle at times but I feel your post shows there is hope, that we can feel better.

You are working hard at getting better and I am really impressed by that....so again, congratulations.

Mind yourself,

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