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 Post subject: help
PostPosted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 4:40 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2010 9:08 am
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Location: USA
Hello to anyone who will listen, HELP I'm so upset. My 15yr old daughter is inpatient at a pysch hosp. She continually expresses the desire to harm herself. I'm worried I gave this to her, I'm worried I won't be able to pay the bill, Im worried she won't come back, I am completely powerless. (Probably my worst fear). Im worried I could lose my job due to the extra attn she needs right now. and meetings and groups. I guess I should halt now because I'm consumed with something and rambling.


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 Post subject: Re: help
PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 3:33 am 
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Joined: Fri Mar 19, 2010 10:39 pm
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Location: Reality ~ It's a great place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there!
My older daughter was hospitalized just months before she turned 18 and I was certain it was my fault she was having problems. All I could do was to tell her that I never meant for my issues to cause her problems and I am sure she understands that being a good mother to her is extremely important to me. Fortunately she knows how much I love her because I have always been there for her. Since her hospitalization over a year ago (she is 19 now) we have been able to talk about some of the things that bother her but I will never know the depth of her feelings because she thinks she needs to protect me from being hurt just as I don't want her to be hurt by my own issues.

I ended up reading a book about how our children take on our pain when they see us struggling and that helped me gain some perspective about why my daughter was having problems. I don't recall the name of the book but if I find it I can post the title here if you are interested. One of the messages in the book is that our loved ones will be affected by our pain because they are so close to us. We may not have not done anything to directly cause their pain but because pain is part of our lives it carries over to those who love us.

When my daughter was in the hospital I had to let go and let the professionals work with her to the best of their ability. At the time my daughter had run away from home, with a boyfriend who had severe mental problems, so in a way it was a blessing that at least she was somewhere safe where I did not have to worry about her being hurt. I had spent so many sleepless nights fearing for her safety that I was finally able to sleep knowing she was safe.

_________________
The question of suicide:
Keep it a question.
It's not really an answer.


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 Post subject: Re: help
PostPosted: Mon Apr 05, 2010 5:46 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2010 9:08 am
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Location: USA
Thanks for the insight, Dustie. I never thought my loved ones could pick up my pain. I need to sit with that for awhile.


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