Home  •  FAQ  •   Forums

It is currently Thu Mar 28, 2024 3:57 pm

All times are UTC - 7 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 3 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: Agreement or Twisted Thinking- I'm not sure
PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 9:14 pm 
New Member
New Member
User avatar

Joined: Tue Feb 06, 2007 6:00 pm
Posts: 369
I would really appreciate some insight into my reactions to Denims Thread. Initially I stayed away, but finally did go read and was very upset by what was there. I therefore voiced my feelings. I need for a minute to paraphrase myself and please realize I am doing so to work on my stuff not to extend Denims thread or go on about her. I am looking for clarity on how I dealt with this. So, please keep the focus on what I am saying (in other words) was my interpretation. Ty.

In reading Denims' thread I was upset over the fact her words felt like a very strong slam to anyone who has acted out on the board (more than once); likewise I felt she didn't show much apprecation for those who come here day after day month after month trying to work thru things, but even more so those who specifically spend time trying to help others work thru things. I also was disheartened that she made a generalized post vs chosing to speak to 'the individual(s)'.. and, I never was sure if she was speaking of one or many.

So, that is pretty much what I had posted, stated in other words.

Later when I read further along I started thinking about it a bit differently. It isn't that I felt the thread was ok. What came to me later was that this felt like a strong defensive reaction to a place (BPDR) I value as well as to my own lack of progress. I identify this as taking things personally, but it also feels like a twist - just not exactly sure how. Maybe the twist is in the fact I have personalized BPDR ? And that I could not see anything postive in her post- (all or nothing type thinking on my behalf).

All this sorta has me wondering if Twisted thinking is often attached to Taking things personally? Seems like while they don't have to go hand in hand that you can't take things personally if you arent twisting?

Can anyone see other types of twist going on here?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 9:33 pm 
Community Member
Community Member
User avatar

Joined: Sat Dec 03, 2005 6:00 pm
Posts: 867
I'm not sure what twist it is, and I just read through the list several times. Maybe mental filter. Whatever it would be called, I think the problem is that you are accepting Denim's statements as true. But they are only her opinions, the way she sees it. Oh, I think the twist is "separation of stuff". How she sees the board is "her stuff", not yours. How anyone sees the board or any particular poster is always their stuff, not yours. I say it's a problem with mental filter because, when someone comes on strong, we may have a tendency to believe their words, when in reality, it could be the minority opinion. Accepting one person's view is seeing it as the reality, whereas most posters think and feel differently. So you are looking at it through a mental filter. I also think "jumping to conclusions" is another twist, and easier to understand. You are accepting D's words as true. Just because someone makes a statement doesn't make it true. You feel defensive because you are taking it personally, seeing it through a mental filter, and jumping to conclusions that the board is being attacked and that you are being attacked.

Just my ideas, smilin.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 10:41 pm 
New Member
New Member
User avatar

Joined: Sat Aug 19, 2006 6:00 pm
Posts: 491
Interesting notion about the relationships between twisted thinking and taking things personally. I will want to think and read on that a while.

While no expert on the Twisties, I could not find any obvious evidence of them in your posts from that thread. If it's there, my guess is it's pretty subtle.

I think many of us have felt a kind of defensiveness about BPDR in the past. I've certainly felt it more than once. Seems pretty natural when we've all invested as much as we have in doing this work and making this place work.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 3 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 7 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 22 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group