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 Post subject: Cant even do the first step?
PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2008 8:38 pm 
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I don't really know how to even do the first step.
TO JUST STOP.

I feel upset that I cant even just stop and think before acting. I know practice makes perfect but it stinks :[

It all just happens so fast, and glass and things are breaking, doors slamming, keys flying so on so forth :[


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 Post subject: Re: Cant even do the first step?
PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2008 8:45 pm 
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Location: texas
slow down. it will come.

do it after the fact this time. while your cleaning up the glass and shit. which is no fun, i have done it! if you tear up something, clean it up. fix the door knobs so they dont slam. (i had to do this with my grandkids lol)

practice when you arent in a tear. how do i feel? put a name to it, a basic emotion name cause some, like anger, are a secondary and come from another place.

we could do it here if you like? just for practice?

this takes time, for awhile it took me like 2 weeks to think and not immediately act. just ask around! lol. but it comes, and its slow but sure. i cant tell you how many here posted to me saying jody, slow down and stop and think. i bet they thought i would never get it. (sometimes i still dont)

then the min you hear a door slam, see what your doing and how you feel. eventually you will get to why you feel xyz, and so on.

for now, practice it all the time you can, every day.

yes, you can do it!:)

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"no one can walk on you unless you lay down first"
-old saying-


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 Post subject: Re: Cant even do the first step?
PostPosted: Tue May 27, 2008 9:51 pm 
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Thanks. I have been practicing and I am getting betttter [ I think ] YAY :]

I try to come here everyday and read the amendments and five steps & try to remind myself everyday to think positive. to just let some things go and not obsess or get angry/sad about some things that are not even that big of deal. I am TRYING. I try and do my best. I can do anything and everything. Also I am trying to build my self confidence and image. I feel like I want to keep losing weight then I come to reality and I am like "no your skinny, how about you make your goal that is reasonable get to it and maintain" then i look in the mirror and see fattnesss! but i know i am not so i am working on that. I hope I can keep up this up. I just have to keep on top and soon one day I will be happy :] ONE DAY.


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 Post subject: Re: Cant even do the first step?
PostPosted: Tue May 27, 2008 11:46 pm 
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from my limited experience, training yourself for general composure and awareness and avoiding stimulants help with that. there are other things in my life and environment that if I practice them help me stop when I need, and there are things that prevent me from stopping when the time to stop comes.

Help

1. meditation, relaxation
2. good sleep
3. a good diet and level energy throughout the day.
4. therapy(back when I did a little CBT, but I imagine any therapy would help)
5. being with calm people
6. daily log and awareness work.

Worsen

1. stimulating drugs like coffee
2. smoking pot, drinking alcohol (the day after)
3. being with impulsive people
4. going throughout my day and losing track of where and who I am


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 Post subject: Re: Cant even do the first step?
PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2008 5:08 pm 
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i want to address one thing you said.

"one day you will be happy"

what do you mean by this? what is happy to you?

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"no one can walk on you unless you lay down first"
-old saying-


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 Post subject: Re: Cant even do the first step?
PostPosted: Thu May 29, 2008 6:07 am 
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Hi, heatherx33 ~

Quote:
Stop / HALT. Just stop and breathe for a moment.

Is there anyone who could help you practice by saying this out loud when things begin to escalate?

Not trying to encourage a cop-out here... It's just that in some ways, people close to us can help discourage unproductive interaction by also implementing the 5 Steps.


~ jr

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Do one thing every day that scares you.


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