Who can be Picasso when she just picked up the paintbrush :)

BPDpip5 · **Joined:** Fri Mar 06, 2009 10:19 am **Posts:** 274

I had an insight tonight. I'm still working on my seminar paper for my rhetorical theory class, and I'm still really struggling with it. But, is it realistic to expect myself to be Picasso when I just learned what a paintbrush is? No, it's not really. I think I"m being too hard on myself. I want to "shine." I want to turn in this paper and just wow my instructor. But, how many people really excel when they've just learned a new concept? Probably not many, so why do I expect myself to do that? Especially when it's an area that I know isn't really my forte.

So, I'm radically accepting that I may not wow the instructor with this paper. But, maybe that's okay if the paper isn't the best. And maybe it is even okay if it is the worst paper I've written. I am trying really really hard on this paper, and that in itself, has value. Yes, I'm struggling. And God knows I'm wicked frustrated. But, I haven't given up on the paper, and I won't. A grade on a paper, or even in a class, doesn't define me. I think my ability to keep going even when I'm struggling is a more accurate representation of who I am.

Right now I am celebrating the fact that I was able to take a step back and see the bigger perspective.

smiles,

Ash · **Posted:** Sat May 07, 2011 11:14 am

BPDpip5 wrote:

A grade on a paper, or even in a class, doesn't define me. I think my ability to keep going even when I'm struggling is a more accurate representation of who I am.

Absolutely! You betcha! You've nailed it!

And for what it's worth, I don't think I've ever even heard of rhetorical theory so right there, you're doing a far-sight better than I would on the paper!

BPDpip5 · **Joined:** Fri Mar 06, 2009 10:19 am **Posts:** 274

Thanks Ash!

No More Hulk · **Joined:** Sat May 07, 2011 5:57 pm **Posts:** 10

I can SO relate to this! My entire life, I have been an extreme over-achiever. My personal life is a firestorm of hell, (my doing) by by God I will appear perfect! My work will be amazing, though my life at home is hell.

BPDpip5 · **Joined:** Fri Mar 06, 2009 10:19 am **Posts:** 274

Yep, no more hulk, that pretty much sums it up! Over the years, I've gotten better at balancing, but especially with school it is easy to fall back into that trap of wanting everything to be perfect.

ReneePA · **Joined:** Tue Mar 29, 2011 5:04 pm **Posts:** 137

Good for you. Another way of looking at it is that everything is perfect already. You are right where you need to be. Is a rose imperfect because it is only half opened?

BPDpip5 · **Joined:** Fri Mar 06, 2009 10:19 am **Posts:** 274

Thanks Renee - I love that philosophy. It reminds me to stay in the moment.

ReneePA · **Joined:** Tue Mar 29, 2011 5:04 pm **Posts:** 137

Staying in the moment has been key to my emotional stability.

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