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 Post subject: positive evidence of recovery
PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 10:08 am 
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A couple positive recent things that demonstrated to me how far I've come in my recovery.

First (though 2nd, actually :)), a certain person was inducing strong feelings in me again. In an attraction / in love sort of way. I thought about coming here and writing about it. I imagined a post starting something like "How come after 5 years my feelings as still so strong?". Or maybe something similar in statement (rather than question) form. But I recognized that it was "should" thinking. Underneath it was the idea that "I should be beyond this stage". Actually, given all the twisted thinking and projection and such I had to work through, it makes sense that I'm only now beginning to deal with these more ordinary feelings.

And the other is, I had a nice personal conversation with a friend. Face to face. Initiated by me. Openingly sharing feelings of appreciation. And, see, for me, once upon a time, a conversation like that would have been impossible. Opening up face to face would have been impossible. It was a little (okay, a lot) scary telling him I wanted to talk (which, due to circumstances, was done by email, actually), but the actual conversation was easy. It helps that I trust him a lot. Both that he likes and accepts me and that he won't be inappropriate with me.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 12:08 pm 
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Ellen that is fantastic! :)

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Great minds have purposes, others have wishes. Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune; but great minds rise above them.-Washington Irving


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 Post subject: good for you!
PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 4:24 pm 
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Thats great! sometimes opening up to someone can be really scary, and I think that starting out by doing it by email instead of in person is a good way to do it.

And eventually, you will be able to do it in person, which will feel even better!

:thumbsup


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 4:47 pm 
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The opening up was in person. It's the "hey, I'd like to talk" that was by email.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 4:52 pm 
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Oh, I see.

Well then thats awesome, because I would probably be too chicken to do it face to face :shysmile


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 4:56 pm 
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Yeah, like I said, once upon a time, I would have been too.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 5:01 pm 
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Yeah, I find it really diffucult when i have a complaint.

Like with co-workers, I tend to shy away from just coming out and saying "you (blank), and that made me feel (blank)".

Instead I just end up venting it to someone else, usually a specific co-worker that I trust. But that is too much like gossip, and it sometimes makes me feel worse.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 5:01 pm 
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Yeah, I find it really diffucult when i have a complaint.

Like with co-workers, I tend to shy away from just coming out and saying "you (blank), and that made me feel (blank)".

Instead I just end up venting it to someone else, usually a specific co-worker that I trust. But that is too much like gossip, and it sometimes makes me feel worse.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 11:57 pm 
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well done! :biggrin

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