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 Post subject: A week has gone by and I'm okay!
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 8:44 am 
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It's a week since my final session and I have been managing well. I'm used to seeing my T every month so I expect my feelings might surface more after a month or so. I do miss her, but I look at my note, think about how she's always "with me", and then I feel all right. The only problem is that I don't fully trust my feelings. I expected to feel bad after my last session. I wonder if I'm on a high that will end with a dip. I sure hope not. I can't give up my "waiting for the ball to drop" feeling, but I posted here because I'm mostly thinking positively.


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 Post subject: Re: A week has gone by and I'm okay!
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 8:47 am 
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If the ball does drop, trust that it will bounce. ;)
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 Post subject: Re: A week has gone by and I'm okay!
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 9:17 am 
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Try not to "expect" anything. Just go from day-to-day, or minute-by-minute if you have to. If there are things you need to talk about, that you would have talked about with her, try writing them down, like in a journal. You can also use Radical Acceptance - like say "I Radically Accept that I am on my own now - I can handle things. I have learned from what she told me." You know, stuff like that. I doubt that you're on a "high."

I know I'm not a good one to talk, but things don't have to be so black-and-white. You don't have to be either "high" or "low". Things can just BE. So try to go with the flow, if you can.

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 Post subject: Re: A week has gone by and I'm okay!
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 1:07 pm 
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I'm glad to hear that you're feeling ok. I can certainly understand that "waiting for the other shoe to drop" feeling, but you know if it does, you'll manage and you can always come here and talk it through. You're doing great wondering.


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 Post subject: Re: A week has gone by and I'm okay!
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 7:48 pm 
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Location: Reality ~ It's a great place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there!
Part of growing up is leaving things in the past while keeping a part of them with you. There is a song called "It's a Pleasure to Know You" that we sang as our camp staff song last summer. One of the lines says "there will always be a part of you deep inside my heart and I'll know just when to let it show." Relationships come and go but our memories of those relationships give us reason to smile when we think about those special people in our lives.

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 Post subject: Re: A week has gone by and I'm okay!
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 7:26 am 
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Ash: It was hard for me to stop laughing after I read your response. I love it!! Yes, the ball will probably bounce. Thanks so much.

BG: I will try to follow your good advice. You're right; things can just BE. But it's not just about handling my challenges on my own. It's about missing HER, my T. It's always been more about having her in my life than about my problems, as I wrote in my poem. That's what the attachment was all about. I understand it much better now, so I can deal with my missing her, but it's still going to take time. When I bump into her in RL, I hope it will be helpful, and not triggering. I think so, but you never know. But like Ash said, the ball will bounce, LOL.

Denim: Yes, you're right! My T told me I own my memories, and that's comforting. Thank you for sharing your camp song, and the thoughts about relationships.

Amanda: Thanks for your understanding. I think I'm doing well too!


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 Post subject: Re: A week has gone by and I'm okay!
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 2:32 pm 
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I know for me, with my first T, at first the pain was sharp and searing. It hurt so bad! But then later on, the memories became bittersweet. Now, 25 years later, they are just warm, pleasant memories. I'm happy I had the experience. I feel good, I feel "filled up" with her. It's a good feeling. I hope you get to that place.

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 Post subject: Re: A week has gone by and I'm okay!
PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 4:58 pm 
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BG, I think I'm already at the place of feeling "filled up" by my T. When I quit my first T, I was in pain like you describe, and it took years for the memories to be good ones. This time, I have a nice, warm feeling about how my therapy turned out. I think it's going to last, too.


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 Post subject: Re: A week has gone by and I'm okay!
PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 7:43 am 
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wondering wrote:
This time, I have a nice, warm feeling about how my therapy turned out. I think it's going to last, too.

That's the best thing I've read all week. Thanks for sharing, Wondering.

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 Post subject: Re: A week has gone by and I'm okay!
PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 8:15 am 
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That's wonderful! I'm glad you have a good feeling about it!

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