Myself 1) I did much better to myself, no need to run away into hedonism or hurt myself, now that I understand things 2) I let things sink in and obssess less, knowing that every day soemthing small should happen adn I should keep with work, health, activities. 3)I worked, meditated and di awareness work EVERYDAY. when it was hard, I just accepted it, and stopped if I wanted to. no guilt. family 1) I spoke to my mother without hanging up for the first time in ages. just spoke and listened and accepted my feelings and empathized with hers. 2) I met my sister for the first time in ages, and we spoke about our childhood, and she said she feels I've changed and now I really listen, and she helped me, and we spoke again on the phone... it felt so good. 3)I met my younger sister too today and we spoke for 3 hours and she said it was really a good talk for her and it helped her a lot. we hugged and everything. I didnt do it with her since... well ...ever. 4)I understood that my guilt about my parents health and wealth is because of improper boundaries. its their stuff. Goodbye Guilt and forced help! Relationship 1)I helped my ex-ex with her boyfriend and just listened. she said too that I've changed and its much better talking to me(crazy) and the best part about it - I do not mind of she uses my advice or not, its her stuff. 2)Now I can find and already have it written down, all the things I want in a relationship and my boundaries, how I show and feel love, from a place of self worth and wholeness and not as a need to feel the pain 3)I have said no to two girls who I would never say no to before. good for me! Friends and people I have communicated much better with anyone Work and financial security 1) I have now realized why I do what I do, I do not need to take bad descisions any more , just to have money to cover the pain or mess up my job because of my relationship hedonism. I have produced more in the last week than in the last two months 2)I devote more time to productivity and less time to coping, now that I do a small time of good coping everyday
lastly, I have minute expectations of myself, and jsut go on day by day basis. I never changed, I just deal with things a little different. I went through a lot of pain, guilt, self doubt. this past tow weeks, just to go through what I do, accepting, forgiving, myself and others, questioning, redoing, there still is a lot of pain, self doubt.
but its worth it
THANK YOU!
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