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 Post subject: BPDR Discussion Forums FAQ
PostPosted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 2:03 pm 
Senior Community Leader
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Joined: Fri Jul 29, 2005 6:00 pm
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· Does BPDR use/require Trigger Warnings (TW)?

Some peer support communities on the internet will require that an individual who plans on posting content that may trigger someone else's sensitivities include a Trigger Warning in the form of "TW" in the thread or post title/subject line.

At BPDR, we believe in empowering individuals to take responsibility for their own emotional reactions, take ownership for those feelings and use such opportunities for self-exploration, learning and growth. As such, Trigger Warnings are not required and are actually discouraged. We believe that the discussion board/peer-support community is an excellent microcosm of the real world and a safe place to explore those things that may trigger us, figure out why we have such strong reactions and use the tools at our disposal to regain control over our emotional health.

· What are the basic guidelines of the BPDR forums?

  • This forum is administered by the listed individuals and includes the site owner and webmaster, Ash.
  • Common courtesy and respect are required at all times.
  • Please bear in mind that posts made on a discussion board are merely a snapshot of an individual and/or their life. They should be taken in context as such.
  • Because of the nature of the forum (mental health) and taking into consideration that this is a deeply personal and intensely intimate subject which evokes many deep emotions, certain latitude will be allowed to permit those posting the opportunity to work through their emotions: pain, fear, anxiety, frustration, anger, etc.
  • In this discussion community, it is also expected that posters will respect the anonymity of those that they post about. In other words, don't post about Mary Jones. Rather refer to her as M or use a fictitious name such as Matilda.

As mentioned, the moderator will allow latitude in the emotional depth of the posts contained within the forum for many reasons:
  • Deleting posts invalidates the poster's feelings.
  • Leaving the post allows the rest of the community and the subject of the "flame" to respond.
  • Dialogue between all parties is the purpose of the forum and to intercede on a regular basis defeats the intent of the forum.
  • Honest communication (however harsh it may seem) can bring about awareness and insight not otherwise encountered.

  • Threads that get overly heated, appear to be going in circles, have lost focus on recovery or have become abusive may be locked at the discretion of the leadership team.
  • BBCodes are allowed at the discussion board and, as such, links included in an individual post are neither endorsed nor verified by BPDRecovery.com.
  • While it is expected that individuals will behave in a respectful and courteous manner toward others, no language filters have been imposed.
  • BPDR has a Community Leadership Team which consists of volunteers dedicated to the principles of the site. Everyone is expected to behave maturely and responsibly.
  • When posting in the BPDR community, it is fervently hoped that all will seek to abide the "Rules of Engagement." These are not "board rules" per se. They are self-introspective questions that we each ask ourselves before launching into a post. It's a quick check of our motives for posting. "Are we dedicated to seeing this through or do we just want a quick release of anger?"

Since these are internal-oriented questions, they are not things that can be regulated by the BPDR Leadership team. Only the person posting can truly know their own heart, mind and soul when sitting at the keyboard. This cannot be monitored or sanctioned by BPDR's Leadership Team. While they are called "rules," they are not board rules. They are like the Golden Rule - something we hope each person will voluntarily choose to live by.

If your post would be better suited in a different forum, it will be moved.

This site is open to all who wish to participate however we try to keep a recovery focus - health and healing - rather than nursing grudges or harboring resentment.

This site does not, in principle, believe in banning individuals. However there may come times when such an action would be taken, as has happened in the past.

If the individual engages in some introspection, seeks to return to the community and is able to show improvement in attitude and willingness to work within the basic guidelines, they will be welcomed back with open arms.

There have been times when an individual has posted some pretty harsh material about their personal life - suicidal ideation, life-threatening scenarios, other types of situations that cause distress within the community.

Please be aware that it is the policy of BPDRecovery.com that no real-life actions will be taken to assist that individual. While this may seem harsh, as has already been indicated, posts are mere snapshots of a person's psyche and life.

We are not equipped to save lives and we will not endeavor to attempt such feats.

If you are suicidal, you may certainly post your feelings to explore what's going on however please do not expect that a community member or a member of the BPDR Leadership Team will take real-life actions to assist you.

We encourage you to seek professional, competent and qualified help immediately.

· What is a ban?

A ban is a means to prevent a person from posting at the community/board/forums.

· Are there different levels of ban?

Yes, there are. The process generally follows this set of guidelines and levels of ban:

  • Username ban - the registered user name is blocked from viewing or accessing the discussion board community.
  • IP Address ban - the known IP addresses are blocked from viewing or accessing the discussion board community.
  • IP Address Block ban - we may block a range of IP addresses. Unfortunately this can sometimes hamper 'innocent' individuals who are still entitled to access to the discussion board community. If you feel you fall into this category, please let us know.

· What gets a person banned from the forums?

There isn't really a set listing of actions. We expect that you will not be disruptive to the community on a continued or prolonged basis. We expect that you will take responsibility for your words and actions. We expect that you will, on the whole, strive to achieve a lifestyle that is healthy and happy.

· How long does a ban last?

Again, there isn't really a set listing of guidelines with respect to the length of time any given ban will last. Bans in the past have generally been a few weeks to a few months in duration.

· Can I appeal a ban?

You are certainly welcome to get in contact with any of the administrators of the site at any point during the ban. Once your username is banned, you will not be able to access the site's listing of administrators to be able to send forum Private Message. You may email us directly at forums@bpdrecovery.com.

· What does it take to get a ban lifted / to get reinstated to the forums?

There aren't any clearly defined answers. There is no list we can provide you however we can tell you that we appreciate the efforts a person makes when they are able to own up to their own role in the incident which resulted in the ban.

· What is BPDR's privacy policy?

The volunteer administration team of BPDR tracks certain basic information such as, but not necessarily limited to:

  • Username
  • IP addresses
  • Real name (when/if provided)
  • Alias (both 'real' aliases and other user names)
  • Board information
  • Personal and/or professional website info (when/if provided)
  • Location - (for law enforcement purposes, if necessary)
  • Work address (when/if provided)
  • Telephone numbers (when/if provided)
  • Email address (when/if provided*)

We do not disclose any non-public personal information about you to anyone, except as permitted by law. This includes any nonaffiliated third parties. If you decide to close your account(s) or become an inactive participant, we will adhere to the privacy policies and practices as described in this notice.

We restrict access to your personal and account information to those who need to know that information under the law. We maintain physical, electronic, and procedural safeguards that comply with federal standards to guard your non-public personal information. Your confidence in us is important and we want you to know that your personal and account information is safe. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact us.

*Please note: An account that is registered with BPDR requires a valid email address.

· I'm having technical difficulty!

Please email us directly at forums@bpdrecovery.com and we will get back to you as quickly as possible.

· Do I have to register to use the forums?

It is recommended that you register an account for security purposes. No one else will be able to post "as you." There may be occasional instances where, for the security of the community, registration will be required to post. Also, with registered login names, you will be eligible for Avatars (Personal Pictures), Custom Signatures and Private Messaging.

· What is an avatar?

An avatar is a picture that appears beneath your posting information.

You may click on the Profile option of your registered account and then click on the Show Gallery button to view the various groupings of pictures offered by BPDRecovery.

· What is a custom signature?

Registered accounts have the ability to establish a tagline or quote that will automatically show up within any post made by that account.

Example: "Be who you are and say what you feel because those that mind, don't matter and those that matter, don't mind" ~ Dr. Seuss

· Help! I registered but can't login/post!

All new accounts are sent an activation email from the system. Please check your spam/junk email folder for the activation email. If you cannot find the activation email, please send an email to forums@bpdrecovery.com from the email address you used to register your account and we will be able to manually activate your account.

· What is a troll?

We really respect and admire this site which discusses Internet Trolls and this one which suggests using CBT to deal with them.

Basically, a troll is someone who wants to stir things up and create discord online. Some trolls are more blatant than others; some are extremely subtle and insidious. Any time you encounter a troll, limit your reaction and interaction with them. They crave attention and the more you feed them, the more animated they are likely to become.

· May I / how do I change my username?

It is allowed and the way you can do this is ...

1. In your Profile area, change the email address on the current account to something that's garbage: gjdlgkjdlagjdkl@ngkljlah.com, for example.

2. Create a new account with the new name you want and the old (original, functional) email address you had (the one you've got on file right this minute).

3. Activate the account & you're all set!

· Why does the forum show the number of views a thread has had?

The View Count is a number that the software automatically displays and this number is increased each time a page is viewed. This does not necessarily mean that a View Count of 438 has had 438 individual viewings by community members. Each time a person previews their reply to the thread, the View Count increases. Each time a user adds a reply and is taken back to the thread automatically, the View Count is increased. The View Count is less meaningful than the Reply Count.

· Are deleted PMs retrieveable?

No, once you delete a PM (Private Message), it is erased from the server and cannot be retrieved. Please be certain you wish to delete a PM before doing so.

· Does it matter what username I select?

Overall, you are welcome to select whatever username you'd like, within reason. BPDR does not tolerate hate language, offensive terminology, racism, sexism, ageism, etc. Profanity is not filtered on the board itself (within the posts) but we do ask that you don't include profanity in your username.

You are encouraged to select a username that both reflects the genuine YOU as well as a username that is focused on healthy, happy living. We believe that thoughts are things and asking the community to call you by something sad, depressing or self-deprecating usually only reinforces negativity. At BPDR, we hope you will focus instead on overcoming negativity and focus on the positive - about yourself, your life and the world around you!

· Are there style restrictions on my posts?

While we hope that members of the community feel comfortable to express themselves freely, we have found that this site is very helpful in explaining basic internet ettiquette. We want your posts to receive the attention and response they deserve and sometimes formatting can add or detract from those results.

· How do I use the QUOTE feature?

There are several approaches with regard to the quote feature.

1. Identify the post you wish to quote or refer to and click the Quote button at the top of that post. Clicking the Quote button will automatically open a reply window in that thread and pull the entire post you wanted to refer to or quote into the reply window. The original text will already contain the formatting to quote the original author. You may, at this point, edit out any extra text you didn't want or need to refer to. You are also able to add your own comments before or after the quoted text for your reply.

2. Opening a reply window in a thread will bring the thread's other posts into a preview section below the reply window. You may highlight and copy specific text and paste it into your reply window. Once the text is in the reply window, highlight it again and click the Quote button to insert the tags before and after the text you wish to quote. You may do this repeatedly within a single reply; one reply might have fourteen different quotes from various other people in the thread.

3. You may manually quote information without using the Quote button. By adding
before what you want to quote and
at the end of what you want to quote, you'll achieve the same effect as option number two (above.) If you want to attribute authorship in your quote, similar to what you'll achieve in option number one (above) you may add the author's name in the initial tag. If I wanted to credit Jenny for saying something, I would enter/type
Jenny wrote:
I said these words.
That would post into the thread similar to:

Jenny wrote:
I said these words.

One thing that helps as one begins working with the Quote feature is to remember to Preview your post before submitting it.

The Quote button at the top of all post/reply windows will tell the system "I would like to quote something so by clicking this button, I want the system to quote something." But that's just the ON switch. If you don't also tell it to shut OFF, it will assume you meant to quote everything in your post/reply. You'll notice that if you're typing, hit the Quote button, type in some words and check the Quote button again, there will be an asterisk (*) at the Quote button. That is to remind you that you didn't turn off the Quote feature yet.

Using the Preview option will help you make sure you have the
tags in the correct places within your post content.

· I would like community support with a problem I'm having about someone else from the Forums - how should I handle that?

When things like this come up - as they often do around here - and we want to work through them on the board, with the support of the community, to avoid these kinds of "No fair, you can't say that & get away with it" bullshit-fests, it's most helpful if the situation can be stripped of details and boiled down to just the core thing(s).

For the sake of exploring that means a little further, let's say I've gotten into a disagreement with a member of the forums. He told me he doesn't ever want to talk to me again and that lasted a few weeks. Then I posted something on the board to which he felt compelled to talk to me about off the board (in PM and/or email.) I would understandably feel confused by his violating the very boundary he had put in place. I might also take exception to the manner in which he broached the subject and may also be annoyed by the content of his assertions.

If I start posting on the forums about how I've got this problem with one of the members, but I won't say who it is, and how he told me one thing & then did another and got pretty crappy about it, it's almost guaranteed a flame-war of some sort will ensue. He will feel attacked - and rightly so because I am talking about him, behind his back in front of his face. Totally not cool!

The fact that specifics are used - references to the person being a member here, specific words used, the sequence of events, the requests, the conversations, etc. - is what turns things into a powder-keg.

Even if I do a great, fantastic, wonderful job of remaining self-focused throughout the whole thread and continue posting about my perceptions, reactions, thoughts, feelings, etc., the fact that I continue to make veiled references to a specific individual, discussing their actions (within the context of how those actions bothered me) will only serve to poke the person I'm referring to.

On the other hand, however, I might post that I'm having difficulty dealing with the infuration I feel when someone breaks their own boundaries. Surely this happens with other people in my life besides just this one person at the BPDR Forums. (Usually when we feel intense emotions, it's not because of a single incident. It's usually because it's stirring up all those old feelings related to similar incidences - as you later pointed out.)

I might post about my struggle to deal with the projections of others while trying to maintain my own vision of reality and solidify my own somewhat-fragile sense of self.

I might post about my frustration with people who are tenacious bulldogs, can't seem to let things go when I'm trying so hard to retain the "accept it and move on" approach to my Genuine Self. When I want to keep moving forward, it is frustrating when someone keeps tugging on me, pulling me back, trying to shove my nose in poopy from ages ago (like a bad dog.)

I might write about how bothersome it is to be called names (bully, bitch, jackass) and have my own reality completely invalidated (fake, lame, pretentious, arrogant) while my grasp of a healthy reality and Genuine Self is still a bit shaky. There's Past Life stuff connected to these Big Scale Topics as well. Surely this one individual is not the only one who's done these types of things to me.

Most of the time, we use references to specifics only to clarify or provide further detail. Honestly though, the rest of us at the Forums don't need the details. Since we'll never have ALL of the details, having ANY of the details is pretty close to useless!

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