BPDRecovery.com: Forums

i have been waiting for a couple of weeks to meet with a therapist who specializes in treating people with borderline personality disorder. next friday is my appointment time and i feel i am just hanging on by a thread until then. i am almost 100% certain this is what is causing me so much pain and suffering in my life. i have read sooo much about it and everything fits me to a T.

all of my life, i have been high-functioning, but i seemed to have slipped into a darkness and i have a hard time seeing the light. my boyfriend of 3 years has been through hell with me and has stood by my side as lovingly and gently and patiently as he can and we both are just hoping for some help to get me better. it is the scariest time of my life right now and most of the time i feel hopeless and helpless, but today is a better day and i just want so desperately to have someone help me.

i am terrified of medication and yet i feel i need it to at least get to a point where i can function again in the real world. i haven't been working for 2 weeks now and i think that makes it worse but i just have no motivation and i almost feel like if i could just start getting better and have someone tell me, yes this is what you have and this is what we can do to turn things around for you, then i would be ok.

i would love to hear advice or experiences anyone else has had.

my insecurity with myself, despite being told what a wonderful, beautiful, intelligent, loving woman i am, is my worst enemy.

love and light to all.

Hi! I'm glad you found this site! Whether you are diagnosed with BPD or not, this is a good place to work on yourself and learn some new skills.

I was first diagnosed with BPD when I was 54 years old. So I had been walking around for years and years being miserable and not knowing why. I was fortunate to have found an excellent therapist. But I have to tell you that most of the work will have to be done by you! The T can guide you and give you advice, but you will have to do the hard work yourself.

Besides coming here and being in therapy, I have been doing DBT skills worksheets. DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) is a therapy devised by Dr. Marsha Linehan and it's just one tool used to treat DBT (there are other therapies used too). By using these skill sheets, I am learning about my emotions and how to modulate and understand them. You might want to look up DBT on the Internet. There's a workbook you can buy to help you learn about it. I also take an on-line Yahoo class.

There are also Tools on the left side of the page here that many people use. Take a look at them and maybe you can start applying them to yourself.

I'm glad you're taking the steps necessary to feel better. I can tell you that it's not been 100% easy for me. I take one step forward and two steps backwards. But I am learning and that's the most important thing. Good luck to you!