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 Post subject: Metaphorical jigsaw puzzle
PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 7:23 pm 
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First of all I would just like to say hey to you all and introduce myself. My name is Greg and I live in Australia and let me just add I hate fosters larger I don't own a stupid hate, and I don't own a blow up kangaroo, also I think I have only muttered the words G'day mate about 3 times. I would like to tell you a little bit about myself though, although once I get going it will probably turn into one big rant.....so sorry in advance.
I tittled this introduction Metaphorical jigsaw puzzle because I feel that's a good way of trying to explain how I feel.

Lets just assume my childhood is a 10 piece jigsaw puzzle that when put together makes a horrific picture, one you can not stand to look at, one I can't stand to look at, well parts of it anyway. That being the case we can say that I'm that puzzle as well because after all my childhood is part of me.

Because of this I became somewhat fragmented, I didn't like the puzzle so I split it back up into pieces, it's all still there but you just can't see what the picture is, I'm sorry if I am writing this as if I were trying to explain it to a child but again I feel it's the best way to articulate how I feel. Because I split myself into pieces I lost my cohesive sense of self, like I said, I became fragmented. So here I was with ten different pieces of myself but none of them really knowing who they were.
To overcome this problem I became a chameleon of sorts, I would just mimic the person I was talking to and in a way become that person. Before I go on I think I should tell you a bit about my childhood, My father didn't want me and my mother was very cold, it made me feel like I was a bad person and that I should try to be someone else, the other thing is it left me very vulnerable to predators because if anyone showed me any attention toward me I would grab it with both hands.

I know this is starting to get mixed up because there is about 10 people writing it LOL...
Like I was saying I would mimic the person I was with because it was a safe bet that if I acted like them they would like me, that was all well and good, bad things could happen and I could just say it didn't happen to me it happened to James.

Socially things became very awkward for me because if I was in a group situation I didn't know who to be so auto pilot would kick in and randomly pick one of my characters, a lot of the time I wouldn't even remember the last 2 or 3 hours, I have lost myself in the puzzle and have so many different conflicting opinions it has left me feeling stressed most of the time.
It can be quite embarrassing because I may have a three way conversation going on in my mind and then answer a question out loud and to anyone around me sounds like I am just saying random things.
Personally I think all of the characters have different aspects of my true personality, I just have to try and put myself back together, only problem is now I don't remember how the puzzle looks, its a broken toy.

I know there is more to tell, but when I start writing or talking about it I become a little scattered so I will just leave it there for now.

I look forward to getting to know you all.
Greg...


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 Post subject: Re: Metaphorical jigsaw puzzle
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 7:34 am 
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Welcome to BPDR! The tools this site promotes (see the Tools box at left) have helped many people put the puzzle pieces together. jim

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 Post subject: Re: Metaphorical jigsaw puzzle
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 6:27 pm 
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Location: Reality ~ It's a great place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there!
Since Ash's book is titled Putting the Pieces Together, perhaps you will find the tools here useful. I am not sure how you ended up here but I'd like to say welcome.

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