BPDRecovery.com: Forums

Hello. I am new on this board and am feeling a bit nervous. I've never done this before. I'm a 42-yr-old woman - a wife and a mother of three sons, and although I haven't been officially diagnosed with BPD, a therapist once told me she suspected my mother has/had it. At the time I read a bit about it and was very afraid that I had it, too. (I think I was afraid to admit to myself how many of the DSM criteria I recognized. Also, when I felt "fine," I didn't perceive my behavior in an integrated, historically accurate way. I'm not sure whether I'm expressing this clearly, but I hope that anyone who has finally faced the truth of his/her track record recognizes what I mean.) For those who have read _Understanding the Borderline Mother_ (a very discouraging book, IMO), I most closely fit the Waif profile; my mother, the Hermit.

After a few months of pretty extreme behavior earlier this year, I'm pretty convinced I do in fact have BPD. I am very ashamed of the things I did - both this past year and at many other times in my life - and I'm very motivated to change. I have been working very, very hard and am told I'm making progress. Much of the time (I think) I recognize this progress myself.

I hope to talk more about my experiences and learn from others' experiences in this forum. This feels like a safe place. (At the moment I'm also working with a therapist I like very much; she specialized in reality therapy and DBT, and I think she's using a variety of approaches with me. I am also reading different books, though I literally *just* came across _Putting the Pieces Together_.

Although, as I've said, I feel I've made a lot of progress in the past few months, I feel so devastated when I suffer a setback that I feel I've returned to square one. Life does not feel worth living. Still, I've made a commitment to myself that I will not opt out - and so I "need" to go on. It is very hard for me to recover from debilitating emotional outbursts. And very hard for me to move away from, or through, the shame I feel.

Sadly, I have forgotten the question I intended to ask. It was some kind of an advice question ...
Well, I suppose that this is an introduction, then. I look forward to reading more posts and to learning and growing more with you all. Thank you.

Welcome. Alot of our tools (found on the left of this page) are based on ideas that fit very well with DBT. (Many are found in CBT, the "parent" therapy of DBT.)

Hi and

I was really nervous at first too, but everyone has been very nice. I find using the tools very helpful. There are several members who use DBT here too.

I agree that it can be very difficult to recover from the shame. Many of the CBT techniques taught here have helped me to release my shame. It's slow, but it works. I hope you can do the same.

I'm glad your here. I guess I just wanted to say hi. It is a safe place. I look forward to your next posting and learning more about you!

Harmonium