BPDRecovery.com: Forums

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Hello

I am married to a wonderful man...BPD...am.being driven over the edge...

Hope I can learn ways of 'dealing' with it...or...

He is violent, abusive, but NOT always. His mood swings are tidal in nature, his rage is out of control.

Really can't take much more...

welcome ! i posted to you in another thread..candles one on boundaries.

good to meet you! i suggest you check out the Tools section on the left of the page..

Hello Jodyisme,

Thank you.

Read the whole list of Tools before joining...*sigh*

Hoping to find ways of dealing my H. Understand where the black hole is in him, and how not to trigger it.

not only do i have CPTSD and bpd stuff, but my H is a absuive narcissist.

if you dont mind, i hope to share some of what i have learned along the way if you would find it helpful.

funny you mentioned "from your cave". my T used to tell me to make me a "happy place"--one can decorate it any way you want..etc...to find calm and peace when you lay down or need to recharge.

my happy place is a cave in my mind. lol. she did find that a "bit" different. lol.

Always willing to hear another perspective!

My cave...yes...I am something of a dragon by nature...solitary, and what not. teehee

I am here as my therapist suggested that I search out forums to speak with people with BPD and learn.

Also told me to get my escape plan in place.
As he will not change.

So...no matter how hard my H tries to pin his abusiveness on me, it just doesn't stick. I will own my own crap..and work on that. The rest of it is HIS.

Nobody deserves to be abused and crapped on at the whims of another. It drains the soul.

It can be draining to figure out how to avoid the triggers in those we love who are dealing with BPD. My exhusband was not diagnosed with BPD, but he had the symptomatology. I can tell you that no matter how many eggshells I walked on, I could NOT avoid his triggers. But those were within his control, not mine.

You do need to determine what you want to do in your own life. No one, regardless of situation or mental illness involvement, should remain in an abusive situation. It's not healthy for anyone and does not promote happy, healthy living. That said, removing oneself from that type of situation is not easy. It took me many years to extract myself.