I'm impressed. You seem to really have looked at yourself very insightfully. I'm high functioning/in acting myself, but I identify with much of what you describe--I just turn those emotions inwards.
The Tool box on your left side of the screen is a great place to begin. I think you may already have some of the techniques there, but they are good to read and use again and again. For me, the more I read and use them, the better they 'sink in' and work for me in those moments of extreme stress when I am just not thinking rationally--they become more route or second-nature.
I would particularly recommend the
seperation of stuff for dealing with boundaries and situations with your fiance--congrats! by the way. The
Four Agreements I find are just good general 'rules' to live by--they make my life much less complicated emotionally. Recognizing
twisted thinking and learning to
untwist is a foundation for me. For working out issues sometimes after the fact, problem-solving, I use
the Five Steps.As far as which threads to jump into....you will have to look around for that one. The forums dealing with the use of the tools may prove to be the ones useful for you to work on your own stuff, but you would probably need to begin your own thread, which is encouraged. I like 'The Couch', 'Season Passes', 'On the Border' and 'Absolutely Positively' for discussing things too. You are most welcome anywhere on the board, please feel free to jump in wherever you see fit. On the front page of the board is a small description of each forum, it helps me know what's what.
There is also lists of books
here. That link is from the resource section of the home page.
Hope that helps! Welcome!!