|
Hi... sooo.... I don't know how long everyone has been on the board, but I used to be a frequent visitor, about 3 years ago, a little less than that. I don't remember what my login name or password were, so I had to make a new one. I usually use stuff with "Zora", but mighta used "Gina".
Anyway, I'm kind of sad to be coming back here. I had made HUGE progress a few years ago and thought I was getting better. Big things happened in my life, tests, like my ex of 4 years breaking up with me, which devastated me. But I came out on top. I lived in Florida when I used to go on the board, but moved just over 2 years ago here to Mesa, Arizona. I was single for quite a while here, which was soooo good for me! But then I met my wonderful wonderful man, who is now my fiance, been together about a year and a half. We just bought a house together, and moved in about a month ago. Before that, I was mostly at his place, but still had my own apt. So now, especially the last month or 2 I have started becoming aware that I'm slipping. I'm falling back into all my old habits and it SCARES me half to death. I more or less made the last relationship hell for him, "walking on eggshells" fit it perfectly. But this guy, he's different. He accepts ALL of me for ME, through and through. But no one deserves to deal with some of the crap I dish out. Irrational, unreasonable, never-appeasible behavior and thoughts. Last week it finally hit me HARD that I need help again. No insurance, though, so no therapy opportunities. So I decided for my own well-being and health, and for my relationship and partner, I need to find the support that I grew to cherish here on this site.
I don't even remember where to start to make progress. I'm confused about myself, been depressed, can't stay in a stable mood for more than a couple days, etc etc etc etc.
So anyway, this is my introduction! If anyone remembers me, great, if not, hello to all. I'm 26, been dealing with BPD since I was a teen, but realized I "fit" in this world when I was about 19.
I'm hoping to find what I need again here on BPDR. Thanks for listening. It's nice to be around people who understand again. :-/
~Gina/Zora
|
FAQ
Register
Login
