EllenKMR, Paul, auspicious, thank you for your comments.
For her: I think more information about her condition is better. I have tried a few times to suggest therapy, not always with a good reception, and she has moved in that direction. As an alcoholic she has accepted the need to change. She is resistant to therapy because of money, the stigma of an internal problem (contrasted with an external problem like alcohol), and a relative in therapy who could try to use having a mental problem against her. However, she has also called herself damaged, knows she is bad with relationships and friendships, and as I mentioned earlier, recently called herself crazy.
For myself: I do have to get off the emotional roller coaster I have been on for the last six months. As Paul pointed out, I am deeply attached to her. If she comes back to me I am not sure I have the strength to resist. However, my intuition says she will not be back.
I realize that my need to communicate with her about BPD is an issue that I have. I want to let it go, communicating with her is one way to do that. Four months ago I did not do that and I am still here.
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