Hey there Mog,
hope things have started to look up. If they haven't, it may be useful to consider that the past is a very great predictor of the future and you mentioned yourself that the two of you have a pattern of behaviour:
Quote:
this is no new occurance for us, as our turmoil spills over often into him telling me that he "never wants to see me again and i don't love you". he is always sorry after and says he does love me, but that he just does not know how to handle the situation, and my bpd.
If I read you right the first thing you may need is some reassurance that your BF will return. That is not something that anyone can accurately predict but as I said the past can be a great predictor of the future.
It does also seem, from what you write, as though your BF is having a tough time coping with the dynamics of the relationship for whatever reason, though he probably still loves you. If you cannot communicate with him by phone, you could write him a letter; tell him how you feel; apologise if that is necessary; and, if you feel it appropriate, you could perhaps suggest that the two of you go to couples therapy - this would show a clear determination on your part to try to make a change for the better.
Hope that helps. Take care of yourself.
Regards
Paul.