BPDRecovery.com: Forums

Well I was recently diagnosed with BPD, but have been a long time sufferer. The last relationship I destroyed I began looking into fear of abandonment and guess what I found. Yep BPD. It's really somewhat comforting to know that it's treatable I suppose. But it's still hard. Shortly after I found out that I was a BPD I found out my long term girlfriend had been heavily cheating. Sadly that wasn't all I also found out she was into drugs. Very sad. Even after all that of course being BPD I still begged her to stay and try to work things out. She of course chose the other guy, which sent me into a huge tailspin. I have barely been able to function the last few days and just now after an emergency therapy session do I feel somewhat in control again. But it's still going to be a long process. What's really killing me right now is the anxiety. I can't seem to cope, either with journaling or anything else I have tried. Any hints, tools or tips are greatly appreciated. I've been doing a lot of self harm to relieve the anxiety and it just is getting to be too much. Plus I feel the desperate need to latch onto someone else. I know that a relationship is unhealthy for me right now right? Thanks

Bump

Oops. Sorry for the lack of welcome. It's been kinda slow around here. Usually I let others do the replies because I usually don't have much to say, and there are others with more/better to say.



I'm inclined to specify a romantic (or sexual) relationship would I think be unhealthy for you right now. Which I know is what you meant, but, I think it's good to say that, because those other relationships can be big help in the recovery process. Sometimes support. Sometimes just fulfilling our social needs. And maybe even learning healthy relationship habits.

The other thing is, as far as moving forward in recovery, learning about oneself, and learning new skills. Like, skills for dealing with emotions. And maybe relationship skills too, although, my impression is that with BPD, most often, it's not that we need to learn skills for getting along with others, it's more, we need to learn how not to let our emotions get in the way. We need to learn balance between emotions and other types of thinking.

I don't really have any ideas for the anxiety. Sorry. I hope someone else will reply soon. Do, though, check out the "The Anxiety Closet" section of the message board, and read the posts there, where others have posted in the past about anxiety issues.

Ellen,

Thanks so much for the reply. It really is nice to have someone out there that welcomes me here. I really appreciate it. Your right I can't stop from looking at match.com and others, but your right it's only out of my selfish need. Thanks that was hard to hear, but it was good and totally true. Sorry this took so long to reply.