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 Post subject: Lost and Confused
PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 11:01 am 
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Joined: Mon Sep 13, 2010 12:40 am
Posts: 3
Hello, I am 31yrs old and I have 3 kids. I seperated from my husband just over a month ago, I have BPD and I hate it.
My husband and I have been talking and trying to work things out.
Apparently I got told yesterday I am making our friends uncomfortable by asking them to pass messages on to him. I had no way of contacting him as he wont give me his new mobile number and he wasn't on the internet.
I feel I can't talk to my friends anymore without saying anything wrong.
I was meant to have a party at my house this weekend and I have now cancelled it. I just want to hide away in my house and not go anywhere. I don't want to talk to anyone or be near anyone as I don't want to make them feel uncomfortable.
I wont be seeing my new psychologist till the 3nd of December, it took over a week to get a hold of her to get an appointment which I sort of needed it then not a month later.
I feel so lost and confused and I have lost all hope and faith.
The on person I could ever talk to was my mum and she died 2yrs ago from cancer. Sometimes I just want to join her and end it all. End the pain. Free all my family and friends from my pain and nuttyness.

I need help and I really need it now, but I just don't know who to turn too or where to go.


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 Post subject: Re: Lost and Confused
PostPosted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 10:46 am 
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Joined: Sat Jul 03, 2010 3:17 pm
Posts: 120
Dear Jodster,

Welcome to the board! I'm sorry to hear what a rough time you're having and I hope things turn around for you in time. Hang in there!

I can imagine it was very difficult to hear that criticism about your attempts to communicate with your husband through your friends. I imagine you felt very hurt by that, but also possibly felt regret later about having responded by canceling the party.

The important thing, I think, would be to remember that those feelings are okay, but that the fact that you feel so badly is probably a sign that your thinking is probably unrealistic (see ten forms of twisted thinking).

As far as BPD in general, this site, the tools on the left, and http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/index.html are both great resources to get you started on your journey of recovery. I'm currently taking a DBT skills group and its pretty informative. As I said, hang in there.

As far as therapy, I would suggest you ask about DBT and mention that ideally you'd like to work with someone a bit more available in terms of time and accessibility. Your therapist should be able to give you a reference.

Take care,

-BeWild

_________________
Where are we going, and why am I in this hand basket?
This road is paved with good intentions because intent is irrelevant. Not all who burn are witches.
Sometimes the best way to get out is to keep going through.
Be wild: accept it as it is, for its a bewilderness out there!


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