BPDRecovery.com: Forums

So here it goes, I'm 27 soon to be 28, a mother of two little ones (3 and 7 months) engaged to a great guy who puts up with me, which I will never know why. I come from a family history of BPD and Bi-Polar and all kinds of other "mental illness", scared to death my daughter will also be when she grows up, after having my son, I realized I needed the help I hid as much of me as I could from ppl including my Dr. but after him I knew I needed help I could my mother in me and it scared me I don't want my kids growing up the way I did. I have been on meds for 6 months they are useless I start coucselling soon I hope. I am tired of being the way I am, mainly becasue I don't even know really who I am. I have to return to work next month and I am pretified to do so. I am getting worse instead of better, I had a panic attack a few days ago and made my fiance stay home from work.

ok I could go on forever but that is the short version

Hi Hunni -

Welcome to the board.

It's hard to deal with young children in the best of times, but harder still when you're struggling with mental illness. Medication won't help with BPD specifically, so don't take them for that reason, but if you have depression, bipolar disorder, and/or anxiety issues, they can help. I can't stress how important it is to be totally straight and honest with your doctor, so he/she knows exactly what it is you're experiencing and how any medications are either helping or hurting. Likewise when you get a therapist, don't hide or gloss over stuff -- if your caregivers don't know what's going on, they can't help.

It is possible to figure all of this out, but it will take some hard work and patience. Don't give up. Just because you have a family history of various illnesses doesn't mean you're doomed. My mother screwed up my life, and there's all sorts of bad stuff in my relatives. There have been time's I've felt I'm becoming my mother, but I was and still am so determined not to repeat what she did with me with my own kids. I can't say I've been 100% successful, but I know my children and I are all better off than if I'd just let everything slide. I've gotten and still get treatment, and I'm constantly learning. It never stops. I know that probably sounds discouraging, because we all want an absolute, one-time fix. That isn't going to happen here. But we can continue to make progress as long as we keep trying.

Check out our "Tools" in the box on the left for some techniques that can get you started. If you have any questions of comments, jump right in.

Thanks, ya me and my Dr. had a good talk at my appt yesterday, he upped my paxil and put me on a trial os Seroquel (sp) and wrote the referal letter for the phsyc dr.
I know what you mean i refuse to be my mother, it scares me the most when I have the days where I can see her in me, makes me work that much harder to not be.

thanks for the welcome I'm going to browse the boards and things later on right now I have my daycare kids