BPDRecovery.com: Forums

hi i'm 23 and i have Borderline Personality Disorder (with anxious type apparently on the end but i haven't got much of an idea of what that means...appparently i'm too anxious for it to be explained within the BPD...confused) along side an eating disorder and anxiety related problems including OCD.
i see a sensorimotor psychotherapist who is slowly trying to get me to do a number of things. it's taken a long time for me to begin to trust her but i am working with her. i am very very scared and most of my previous theraputic relationships have not ended well, but i desperatly want to change and i really hope that as long as i keep working i will get there. she has told me she believes i will, she says she sees change (however slowly it is happening), so i just have to trust her that she knows what she is doing. it feels right and i've been seeing her for a year and a half.
i also have a CPN.
i live (somewhat unsucessfully) on my own due to not being able to live at home with my parent's due to my behaviour. i live with pet rats and a hamster. i love reading (i have a book obsession), art, photography and animals. i am hoping to remember these interests and find new ones.
i think i've probably rambled on for way too long. i hope it's ok for me to be here.

what's a CPN?

welcome onboard

Hi and welcome.

It sounds like you're on a good track. Try not to get discouraged by the slowness of progress -- it takes a while to overcome these problems, especially when it's all compounded by anxiety.

I'd had problems for my whole life, got treatment intermittently for depression, but didn't learn about BPD until I was 50. I also have problems with anxiety and OCD. The OCD wasn't that bad until recently when my son's depression and anxiety got severe enough to land him in the hospital. So there can be setbacks, but don't ever give up. I haven't. It's all a process, it's sometimes difficult and painful, but it's worth the effort. It doesn't matter in the end if you prefer to live alone with your animals, as long as your anxieties (and any other dysfunctional feelings or behaviors) are enough under control that you feel reasonably content and are not harming yourself or anybody else.

I'm glad you found us. Check out the "tools" in the box on the left for some things that have helped a lot of us.

((meremortal)) thankyou. a CPN is a community psychiatric nurse. x


((sari)) thankyou. the site looks like it will be really helpful, just trying to find my feet and there is so much information which is amazing. i am sorry about your son, i can understand why that would have made the OCD so much worse. x

Welcome aboard! I am pretty new here too and I like it very much. I am also an avid reader. I would venture to say that growing up reading saved my life. It allowed me to escape the insanity of my family life while doing something that was good for me. I also struggle with eating issues. I had to throw away my scale because I was getting on it up to 30 times a day. I have had a lot of anxiety all of my life but things are getting better now since I have been working hard on my recovery. You can get better. You are not alone.

thankyou, i am glad that you are starting to do better. it has to be worth it, living like this isn't. i really hope you get to a better place. x