It pains me a great deal to hear that you are thinking about ending therapy. I can't speak to the quality of the therapy you are receiving, but some form of support is definitely necessary. Can you clarify what type of therapy you are on. Are you doing DBT? As for the bunch of meds, can you be more specific as to what you are taking? Personally I'm on 1 medication right now, I take a small dose once daily. It's still early in the process so I haven't really noticed anything because of the meds yet, but I'm wondering if you need a "bunch", or if what you are considering a "bunch" isn't that bad.
I want to talk to you a bit about your frustration and thoughts that maybe nobody can help you. I would like you to read another person's welcoming post.
viewtopic.php?f=3&t=12661The main thing to focus on is that the person in this thread sounds to have the same issues you are going through in terms of frustration and feeling like it's not enough. But are you letting the treatment help? I know it can be frustrating, and I know it can be so easy to think about giving up (especially because of the BPD). I sense a great deal of skepticism in your post. Skepticism that the treatment will work, that you will be better... that you are worthy of being better. I feel as though you feel that because you have this disorder that you are a terrible person, a monster, worthless, and as you said "weak".
In fact it is quite the contrary. The fact that you are seeking help, and to some degree receiving it, is something that BPD sufferers don't often do. It's one of the most difficult steps in recovery. You know what you want, the tools are there, you just need to practice using them. We can help you through it and you can help us through it as well. I hope you stick around and get the help you clearly want. Follow up with us.