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 Post subject: New and Discouraged...
PostPosted: Thu Jun 02, 2011 12:26 am 
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Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2011 12:12 am
Posts: 3
Hello, just found this message board while surfing the internet. Don't know how long I will stay with the forums, but I figure I could give it a try. I have been diagnosed with bpd for several months now, have had some ups and downs with treatment, but I am usually just feel empty and sad...I am wondering if it is even worth the money anymore...all I see is that I am now on a bunch of meds, sometimes they help but sometimes they don't. I guess I feel weak having this disorder and having to take several medications a day, my pyschiatrist helps me establishing goals and tries to put things in perspective for me, and it helps for a little bit, but something life event usually jumps in the way and I become depressed again...sometimes I burn myself to handle my anger and stress and I have experienced dissociation a few times. I am just frustrated and just feel like maybe nobody can help me...maybe I should just give up on treatment, I have seen several therapist and never had much help.....maybe I am just doomed with this illness....I am just to the point where I don't care much for anything anymore...feeling noone can help.


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 Post subject: Re: New and Discouraged...
PostPosted: Thu Jun 02, 2011 6:22 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jun 01, 2011 12:55 pm
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Location: Canada
It pains me a great deal to hear that you are thinking about ending therapy. I can't speak to the quality of the therapy you are receiving, but some form of support is definitely necessary. Can you clarify what type of therapy you are on. Are you doing DBT? As for the bunch of meds, can you be more specific as to what you are taking? Personally I'm on 1 medication right now, I take a small dose once daily. It's still early in the process so I haven't really noticed anything because of the meds yet, but I'm wondering if you need a "bunch", or if what you are considering a "bunch" isn't that bad.

I want to talk to you a bit about your frustration and thoughts that maybe nobody can help you. I would like you to read another person's welcoming post.

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=12661

The main thing to focus on is that the person in this thread sounds to have the same issues you are going through in terms of frustration and feeling like it's not enough. But are you letting the treatment help? I know it can be frustrating, and I know it can be so easy to think about giving up (especially because of the BPD). I sense a great deal of skepticism in your post. Skepticism that the treatment will work, that you will be better... that you are worthy of being better. I feel as though you feel that because you have this disorder that you are a terrible person, a monster, worthless, and as you said "weak".

In fact it is quite the contrary. The fact that you are seeking help, and to some degree receiving it, is something that BPD sufferers don't often do. It's one of the most difficult steps in recovery. You know what you want, the tools are there, you just need to practice using them. We can help you through it and you can help us through it as well. I hope you stick around and get the help you clearly want. Follow up with us.


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 Post subject: Re: New and Discouraged...
PostPosted: Thu Jun 02, 2011 10:28 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2011 12:12 am
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I don't know what type of therapy it is called... I just go see my pdoc every couple of weeks and he tries to get me to reflect on my logic and think in a long tern perspective since I seem to have trouble on focusing on short term dillemas.... Medications I am taking lexapro, cymbalta, klonopin, and serequel... I think the serequel and klonopin help some.... I discussed with him about quit taking them but he seems to think I should continue on order to stabilize my moods.... I honestly think the serequel and klonopin help some... But I have gained some weight in the last month...


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