I was in a relationship about 10 years ago with someone whom I now suspect has BPD, I left that relationship. I'm currently married but seperated from my husband who has been diagnosed with BPD. There was a relationship in-between, where I found that I was very conflicted about the way I acted. When he abandoned me while I was expecting his child, for another woman, I felt very depressed, and had suicidal thoughts. There are many other things, layers upon layers, and abandonment issues. All is much better now, even though my husband and I are at odds, it's not as serious, for either of us, as some of my past experiences. I joined a online support forum for loved ones of people with BPD, and related to a lot of the experiences that the people had in their relationships. But some of the behavior rang a bell in a different way. I was very disturbed when I felt like I had acted in some of the ways those peoples family members had. I'm wondering if I might have BPD.
I have been diagnosed by qEEG with ADHD. I was seeing a therapist for the first part of this year but didn't feel like the therapist and I were a good match. I've now made contact with another mental health professional and have an appointment to be evaluated and hopefully gain some more insight. Whether or not I have it, I know that I'm not mentally/emotionally healthy, and it is my goal to become those things, and in effect a whole person.
As of now, I'm checking things out here, hoping to gain some insight and self-awareness. It troubles me to think of what I've been through in my relationships with people w/BPD, and even more troubling to think I've put my family, friends, and significant others through the same.
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