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 Post subject: I can do this
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 10:42 am 
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Joined: Fri Jul 01, 2011 11:38 am
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Hi - and thanks to anyone who's reading this.

I'm a 41yo woman, who has battled depression and anxiety as long as I can remember. Last year after several weeks of suicidal ideation, I voluntarily went into a partial hospitalization program for 2 weeks. It was the best decision I've ever made for myself. Although I'd heard PTSD bantered about before, it was confirmed along with something new - BPD.

While I don't have all of the classic BPD traits, I have enough to have wreaked havoc on my life. I feel unburdened now that the pieces of my puzzle are coming together. Now I just have to figure out how to make it work for me.

I started DBT in April of this year, because I had to wait for an opening in a group meeting after work hours, and that would accept my insurance. It's been really helpful so far.

My biggest challenges have been destructive behavior (or realizing that some of my activities can be deemed destructive), difficulty with interpersonal skills especially at work, and boundaries.

I want to focus most on work. Thanks to the economy, I'm significantly underemployed after being let go from my dream job in 2008. Even in my current job, or maybe because of my anger about it, I get in trouble and get written up. The last time was for mouthing off to my boss; he deserved it and was actually fired a week later. It's the interpersonal stuff that confuses me because I don't understand how it is wrong or misinterpreted.

In any event, I'm looking forward to learning from everyone and sharing our stories, challenges and successes.


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 Post subject: Re: I can do this
PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 10:49 am 
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Joined: Wed Jun 15, 2011 5:22 pm
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I am a 63 year old woman who can relate to your situation. Along with my BPD, I also have traits of PTSD and a difficult time at work. I am now unemployed but spent 2 and a half years working with the meanest people imaginable. It was a horrible place to work and I had trouble staying above the trouble and just doing my work. I am wondering what kind of treatment you received and how it helped. There is hope for improving your situation, but BPD is a real killer since it is so embedded in our character. I think if you read other posts, you can learn many tools to keep yourself out of trouble. I congratulate you for taking the steps you needed to get out of your hole. I, too, have many interpersonal problems because I can't read people very well for who they really are under their candy-coated facades. I wish you luck as you work your way through tough times. Just keep posting. Even if no one reads what you write, the postings alone seem to help me put words onto my behaviors.

Just keep on going and dedicating yourself to uprooting these deep killer behaviors.

Cynwyd


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