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 Post subject: Tired of Treading Water
PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 8:37 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jul 17, 2011 10:10 pm
Posts: 4
Location: NY
This is my first post, dealing with BPD and Bipolar disorder. Female, married three unsuccessful times, no children. I have lost just about everything, career, relationships both friends and lovers, life savings, socially isolated, family functions....and the beat goes on. Between poor judgement, paranoia, fear and delusions my life has become a living hell.

Waking up with dread in my face, not knowing how I will survive the moment let alone the rest of my day, each and every day. Totally isolated not wanting to be around people, but needing them at the same time. Not able to trust myself, I have become the stranger by my side, feeding lies through my eyes to my mind. Not ever knowing what is real or another distorted, twisted rendition of the truth.

I am a lie, I live lies going through the motions like everyone else looking as if I am connected, but I am not. While not feeling the joy, not feeling accomplished, not being interested, lack of patience without spare room to be able to care for anyone else. I am in DBT, mental health day program, group therapy, individual therapy, taking two prescriptions for Bipolar, there is no medication for BPD, only time.


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 Post subject: Re: Tired of Treading Water
PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 6:12 am 
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 6:12 pm
Posts: 819
Location: sarasota
state of mind,

I'm glad you are here. This is a good place to explore your "inner" workings, ha,ha. I've been coming here for a long time, and this board has helped get me through some rough patches. Hope you stick around.

dagwood


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 Post subject: Re: Tired of Treading Water
PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 8:05 am 
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Joined: Sun Jul 17, 2011 10:10 pm
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Thanks, the support and empathy is enormous. I am also glad I found this site. Learned so much in only three days on line incredible.

_________________
" I Don't Influence, I Inspire "


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 Post subject: Re: Tired of Treading Water
PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 1:09 am 
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Joined: Wed Jul 28, 2010 3:01 am
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hey there welcome :)

hope your life will improve :)


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 Post subject: Re: Tired of Treading Water
PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 9:21 am 
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Joined: Sun Jul 17, 2011 10:10 pm
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Everyone has been so kind. Its like talking to family members, but better because no one is judgemental. Lucky to have found this site. I notice some members have been here for years, and people are from all over the world sharing the same nightmares.

Thanks for the kind welcome


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