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 Post subject: Very new, recently diagnosed.
PostPosted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 1:12 pm 
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** Read just the third and fourth paragraphs if you're in a rush! That's where my query is. Read the rest if you have a minute.

Hello! My name is Karissa, I'm twenty-two years old and I live in PA with my boyfriend of six years and our dog. I recently had a neuropsych evaluation done and walked away with four diagnosis' - arithmetic disorder, anxiety NOS, major depression, and borderline personality disorder. While my main reasoning for going to OVR and asking them to order this neuropsych evaluation for me was to become exempt from math courses so that I would be able to go back to school, it was honestly my last hope in more ways than just academically.

I keep typing an awful lot of stuff and then erasing it. I don't want to throw a huge wall of text at you right now and I know that what I have to say are things said a million times before. The research I've done since my evaluation has shown me that BPD information pages describe me almost perfectly. Better than any astrology chart has, that's for sure. Anyway, I'm looking for some guidance, and I feel like I'll be able to find that here. My next step is unclear to me and I've called the lady who conducted my evaluation for her opinion, I'm just waiting for her to call me back. I'm sure she will at some point in the next few days, but I just keep agonizing over what I should do now that I finally feel like I COULD do something.

The woman who conducted my evaluation gave me instructions before I left to apply for an Access card (government insurance) so that I could see a psychiatrist. However, I have half-finished an application for Access in the past and I feel that I remember questions about when I estimate I could return to the workforce and how I pay for where I live and such. The problem is that I can't really enter some optimistic estimate of when I'll be working again because I cannot work or I would be. My boyfriend makes enough money to support us and pay rent and our bills are always paid (he's the foreman at a machine shop), but it's definitely tight. This in mind, I'm wondering now if it would make more sense for me to apply for disability instead of for Access. I don't want to enter some bullcrap back-to-work number when I don't intend on it and have that hurt my chances for disability if it turns out that further psychological testing rendered possible by Access determines that I should apply for it. Honestly, disability would improve my life drastically and then I would be able to get the testing I need, too, in order to improve my mental health and have another go at school and make something of myself.

I want to make the point that my reasoning for the neuropsych was to become exempt from math courses so that I could return to school and get a degree. Now that I have that and after talking to the woman who conducted my evaluation, I know that I need to get my head in check first before I take another chance at college. This being said, I don't plan on being on disability for my entire life (no offense against those who do and need it) if I can help it. My problem with jobs right now is that I rarely even leave my house. I've never had good experience with jobs for reasons that a forum for those with or near those with BPD might be able to understand without me getting into details. So, what should I do as far as that goes? This is what I'm waiting to discuss with the psychiatrist when she calls me back.

I'm sorry if I'm being insanely vague, I just can't get too far into detail without making this a novel and I'm honestly just not incredibly comfortable talking about this/putting it out in public. I just feel like there might finally be a light at the end of this tunnel and I'm terrified of screwing it up.


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 Post subject: Re: Very new, recently diagnosed.
PostPosted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 1:33 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 6:12 pm
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Location: sarasota
canary,

Are you seeing a therapist currently? Any meds? You sound a big frantic to me---is there anyone you can arrange to see?

I'm unclear as to why taking psych testing would exempt you from math courses
I know I had trouble with math in high school, and my psych testing given some 20 years later showed difficulty with abstract reasoning which is needed for mathematics. As I got older and went back to college I actually enjoyed the math courses I was required to take. Used to be you couldn't receive a BA without them. I had had some therapy by that time, and perhaps I was then able to transcend my former fears of math.

anyway, I hope things get better for you, and that you can get the answers you are looking for.

Dagwood


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 Post subject: Re: Very new, recently diagnosed.
PostPosted: Wed Sep 21, 2011 1:42 am 
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Joined: Wed Jul 28, 2010 3:01 am
Posts: 1007
Let me rephrase what I can gather from you... correct me if i'm wrong

1) who's going to pay for your psychiatric bills? Your boyfriend?
2) what are you currently doing? You are not having a job because you have bpd right? Do you have depressive spells so bad you can't get out of bed, or what? (sorry if this sounds rude, i have absolutely no intention of sounding rude)
3) you want to get back to school and study but you don't want to do math courses right?


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