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 Post subject: Hello new guy to a seemingly friendly community...
PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2012 5:31 am 
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Joined: Mon Jan 23, 2012 4:32 am
Posts: 5
Hello there... (I hate these intro things...)

While I was in a relationship with my ex/gf, I knew she had BPD... She did also, but we had no idea of how much it affected her and the entirety of the relationship.

After this last round of the push/pull (where she now has a new boyfriend) I was just so confused, her explanations made no sense, her actions were illogical and didn't sync with her words. It was in my misery that I remembered her BPD, and for no specific reason decided to search for BPD and relationships.

I found a wealth of information and it has given me an epiphany really, I found a true understanding of her behaviour. I joined this site really, to get advice on how to deal with my well, relationship (or whatever it is) with her, and get support...

Separately, at first I came into this as a straight "non" but then my friend who studies psychology, mentioned I might have a personality disorder of some kind, based on my behaviour and emotions I told her.

As I looked through the symptoms, I find myself relating to so much of it, maybe being in a relationship with a BPD has picked up these symptoms, but they were there prior to my relationship, feelings like;

Intense fear of abandonment, the stupid push/pull thing, the idealisation and devaluation- the rages...

I find myself looking back at my old relationships, looking at the instability, generally caused by me; and think... Maybe... Just maybe... Of course I haven't seen any therapist or otherwise for years so I have no way to verify my suspicions...

But hello, and hopefully I will find some support here...


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 Post subject: Re: Hello new guy to a seemingly friendly community...
PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2012 7:34 am 
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Joined: Mon Jan 23, 2012 4:32 am
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I just like to add the reassurance, that while I guess I come here as a non (for now?) I understand nobody can explain to me how she feeling or what she is doing; and I hold no anger or resentment towards anyone with BPD...

In fact I came here from BPDfamily (which I still go on) because I liked the more hopeful, optimistic approach here. (The ethos there sometimes feels like "Shes hopeless, run run while you can!" here the emphasis that people can get better is much more comforting) and I am looking for better ways to deal with the complexities of BPD, and really some direction...


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 Post subject: Re: Hello new guy to a seemingly friendly community...
PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2012 9:09 am 
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 6:12 pm
Posts: 819
Location: sarasota
Guardianangel,

Welcome. Yeah, IMHO, some of the "non" sites can be a tad pessismistic about those with bpd recovering. I am glad you are here, and I hope you can find the help you are looking for. It takes a lot of hard work to recover....one must be very motivated and willing to examine the behaviors and thought processes that can accompany BPD.

dagwood


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