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 Post subject: I do need to talk to people...
PostPosted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 4:29 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2012 2:57 pm
Posts: 6
Location: Middle of no where, california
Hello, I'm new to this place. I was diagnose with BPD about ten years ago, when I had a breakdown and was thrown out of the military. Needless to say my life has been a struggle... But I'm working on it and want nothing more, just to be okay. Iv been doing my homework and gathering told to make this happen but am finally realizing that I do need to reach out... Nobody knows about my BPD because of the great lengths iv gone to to hide it. I really would like to talk to somebody who actully knows what it feels like to have your mind lie to you and your thoughts betray you.... Hopefully that can happen here...
Thanks


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 Post subject: Re: I do need to talk to people...
PostPosted: Sun Jul 29, 2012 1:17 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2012 10:36 pm
Posts: 3
Location: Ajax, Ontario, Canada
Hi, I'm new here too. I'm looking for the same thing. Reaching out is one of the hardest things to do...

_________________
Melody

"...one day I woke up, and I realized I was never going to be normal, so I said, "Fuck it." I said, "So be it."
- Mark Hunter - Pump Up The Volume


"Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but by how we react to what happens, not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life. A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst, a spark that creates extraordinary results."
~ Anonymous


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 Post subject: Re: I do need to talk to people...
PostPosted: Sun Jul 29, 2012 2:20 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2012 2:57 pm
Posts: 6
Location: Middle of no where, california
Thanks for the reply...
Sense I posted, I had another really bad day and ended up almost being admitted... Doctors only realeased me because they knew I'd be staying at my parents house for te next little bit while I try to get my head on straight... I'm on my 3rd day of meds and have a appointment to see psych next week... I dreaded the doctors so much, but between my two experiences... It's much MUCH easier to go in and ask for the help, rather than being hauled in and forced... Plus, not being burdened with trying to keep myself "normal"... It felt good to say out loud I feel crazy, and do something about it, rather than laying in bed hating myself. And not having insurance, I was suprised at how quickly I got help... If ur in real need, they CAN push threw government assistance with out the normal 45 day wait... They said a week tops, and sent me to a non profit therapist who saw me with in the hour, and prescribed meds to hold me over till I start something regular the mental health... The first steps are hard but right now to me, so worth it... I might not b here right now if it wernt for just talking to somebody.... But once again, if u needbody to talk to... Please IM me or email or anything... Hopefully we can all b there for eachother


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 Post subject: Re: I do need to talk to people...
PostPosted: Sun Jul 29, 2012 4:58 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2012 6:20 pm
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Sometimes that first trip to the doctors can be the hardest part. I'm proud of you for getting your foot in the door. :)

What triggered the episode to start with?


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 Post subject: Re: I do need to talk to people...
PostPosted: Sun Jul 29, 2012 5:18 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2012 2:57 pm
Posts: 6
Location: Middle of no where, california
Well iv been with out a job for a few months now (I was convinced everybody hated me anyway, so I was having bad anxiety and to the point of tears just thinking about going in) I just quit ANOTHER job... Sense then iv been on a down hill slid... I'm a 28 year old male and have to live with my parents because I have not been able to be self sufficient for years. Weekends are the worst because everybody is hear... I start feeling smothered. And its when I'm always at my lowest... Last week was a bad week with money ran out and bills piling up... Been thinking about suicide A LOT.... almost went threw with it the past three weekends in a row... My partners fantastic tho and is really good about pulling out of the house if I get to down.... It's not fair for me to lay that on him all the time, so not wanting to b codependent or die, I finally got a ride to the crises center. Very near hysterics from anxiety and visably broken... Like I said, they almost kept me, had it not been for my mom in the waiting room... I don't think iv prossessed the whole thing yet but I do feel better, the celexa is helping a great deal... I hope things keep looking up,


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