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 Post subject: Hello and nervously new
PostPosted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 11:03 pm 
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Hi everyone,
Just last week i realised what it is i have been suffering with over many many years. I'm 35 and was sexually abused when i was three. From that day on even though i told people i said it hadnt effected me but of course all my decisions and actions were as a result of what had happened. I'm now not able to function sexually as i have to go somewhere else while my husband believes he makes love to me. I search for attention in places i shouldnt just to feel those feelings of emotion and need. Obviously when you do this men want something in return and as i have been trained to believe you give sex in return for love. I am damaged and cannot control how i feel from one moment to the next. My highs are high and my lows are low, when i created destructive behaviour i look for ways to escape all the pain. I feel truly broken, pathetic and lost. Found an amazing psych last week who seems to understand for the first time ever. I live thus far in hope.

Thanks for listening.


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 Post subject: Re: Hello and nervously new
PostPosted: Sun Oct 07, 2012 7:29 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 28, 2010 3:01 am
Posts: 1007
hey there welly

i'm so sorry to hear of what you have gone through. You must have gone through a lot.

it's good that you found a good psych. really happy for you :)


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 Post subject: Re: Hello and nervously new
PostPosted: Sun Oct 07, 2012 8:52 pm 
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Thanks Meremortal, it's great to have support.


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 Post subject: Re: Hello and nervously new
PostPosted: Sun Oct 07, 2012 8:55 pm 
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Welcome on board Welly, and glad that you are so open to share with us all right off. I hope you find what you need here, you will always have care and support, not to mention advice. Like meremortal said it's good you found a good psych. It is good to know though you have come this far in life coping with it all, I hope you continue to fight.

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 Post subject: Re: Hello and nervously new
PostPosted: Sun Oct 07, 2012 9:39 pm 
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Joined: Thu Aug 23, 2012 4:07 pm
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Welcome aboard, Welly.

It sounds like you have been through a lot and are still coming to terms with it. I hope you find peace here and feel embraced by the warmth and kindness here. The tools you can find on the homepage have helped me immensely, to the point where my psychiatrist says he can't believe how fast I have latched on to treatment.

It's always amazing to find a psych who truly seems to understand you and wants to help.

We're here for you also. Take care :)


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 Post subject: Re: Hello and nervously new
PostPosted: Sun Oct 07, 2012 11:44 pm 
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Joined: Fri Oct 05, 2012 10:53 pm
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Wow, thank you all so much as already said. I went for second session today and i can see it's going to be a long and tough ride. I was talking to my ever supportive hubby today about it and he was saying how he was working on the car today and literally only thinking about what he was doing!!! I was astonished.....how on earth does he do that, i know that my mind is like a frigging ping pong and it wears me out. I am trying the techniques of breathing and watching the candle so far. I was just curious what you guys think about the use of meds and DBT. Do you think a combo works or would the meds desensitize me to the treatment? I know everyone is different i just wonder if in the mean time that little extra support helps?

Was such an awesome welcome :)


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 Post subject: Re: Hello and nervously new
PostPosted: Mon Oct 08, 2012 1:18 am 
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Hi Welly,

That's so great you have a fantastic support system in your husband! It helps when those we love can not only accept us but support us in what is essentially a journey in self re-discovery.

I personally need the mood stabilizers and have yet to start proper DBT but have referred to literature and this website for DBT tools.

I find the lamotrigine gives me that extra help in keeping my thoughts stable and my moods not so erratic (although it's all new to me so they're still pretty erratic!)

Just my experience though :)


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 Post subject: Re: Hello and nervously new
PostPosted: Mon Oct 08, 2012 1:52 am 
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Joined: Wed Jul 28, 2010 3:01 am
Posts: 1007
welly,
some people need meds, and some people don't need meds. it really depends.

but even my psych doc told me, meds DON'T solve the prob. they help us cope to a certain extent / level so that we can deal with the issues.

perhaps you could start monitoring your moods throughout the day and then decide on whether you need meds.


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 Post subject: Re: Hello and nervously new
PostPosted: Mon Oct 08, 2012 10:45 am 
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Welly, I'm going to agree with meremortal on this. I no longer takes meds and it is a struggle but, I didn't like how I felt on them. It's good that you have great support, and you should do research on the medication topic they have on the site as well. Don't forget that it may take a while to find the right meds, and so on, so you may go through more thoughts and actions of suicide during those time periods. Just look into it.

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 Post subject: Re: Hello and nervously new
PostPosted: Mon Oct 08, 2012 12:22 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2012 7:48 pm
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Welcome Welly

I am newly diagnosed, fri in fact. So im trying to learn too. Part if yourr story rings very true to me. Sex, men and love are a spider web for me. I am getting better though.

This site has brought me comfort and i wish the same for you.

Hugs
Krokus


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