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 Post subject: Imanut
PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 1:54 pm 
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Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2012 1:50 pm
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Location: Central Texas
I am a nut! Really. No joke. I know this for a fact. I am actually tired of my self destructive behaviors and the things that I do and how I feel after I do them. I do have some very good points about myself, I know this too, but right now I am on a pretty bad path. I try and I try but I just can't seem to try hard enough control myself. In a nutshell.


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 Post subject: Re: Imanut
PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 3:48 pm 
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Joined: Thu Apr 26, 2012 10:44 am
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Hi there.
Welcome to BPDR. I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling right now, hopefully you will be able to find the support your are looking for here. :) Take care.

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"And suddenly... I felt nothing."


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 Post subject: Re: Imanut
PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 3:52 pm 
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Thank you, I have spent the past few hours going over the tools and reading older post. I am feeling better than I did a few hours ago when I created my user account. I feel the way I do because of choices that I made. I know it's my own damn fault, just don't know why I choose to do what I do.


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 Post subject: Re: Imanut
PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 4:02 pm 
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We all make mistakes, it's no good to go about beating ourselves up over things that we did in the past. And it's okay to make mistakes or do stupid things, we're all human. :)
I'm glad to hear that you're feeling a little better now, that's good.

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"And suddenly... I felt nothing."


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 Post subject: Re: Imanut
PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 4:07 pm 
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My real problem is that I keep hitting the rewind button and keep doing the same things with the same results, I can do real well for about a week and there I go again. I stepped out side for a minute to think about the things that I do that I am not happy with and I can see how the cycle feeds it's self.
Do something foolish
Feel guilty about it
Get depressed
Do something foolish again. Goes round and round and round.
Drink+Drug+Bars+Men+BPD=A really wild ride I would like to get off of.


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 Post subject: Re: Imanut
PostPosted: Sun Dec 02, 2012 12:28 pm 
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Hey Nut,

Welcome to the boards.

That cycle sounds a lot like me in college. I got some advice that I've found to be very helpful in one of the Buddhist books I have been reading.

Whenever you find yourself stuck, do the opposite of what you would normally do.

I might be sitting at my computer, thinking to myself "Gee, I should go for a run." Do I normally? No. That's a good sign I should get off my butt and actually do it. Or maybe, I have the impulse to get hammered and forget about everything, and there's a party that night. Depending on how much self control I have, that means I should either stay in and enjoy one of my hobbies, or go, and make it my goal -not- to get really drunk and make a fool out of myself.


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 Post subject: Re: Imanut
PostPosted: Sun Dec 02, 2012 1:33 pm 
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That is very good advise. I have often thought that Buddism might be the key to inner peace. This forum doesn't seem to be real active, which is fine. I felt sort of strange sharing my self like that after I did. Thanks for posting a reply. I appriciate it.


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