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 Post subject: I found my way in... now where do I go?
PostPosted: Mon Dec 31, 2007 7:59 pm 
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Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2007 6:00 pm
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Location: Texas
:shysmile

Okay... so I am new here (duh). I was diagnosed with BPD when I was discharged from the military at 18. They kicked me out but never gave me any idea what BPD was or what therapy or behavior modifications I needed for making a recovery. Now years later (I won't say how many ... but more than 10) I am finally realizing that I am not " quite right in the head " so to speak. I live in south central Texas and finding a doctor to help me is nearly impossible. I found only one doctor that might take me and he has a flourishing private practice (read he is expensive and not covered by my health plan). So while I am still on the lookout for some professional guidance a girl's gotta start somewhere! After a lot of on line hours I found this place. I already copied off the Five Steps, Four Agreements, Ten Forms Of Twisted Thinkin (and of course the ways to untwist them), The Rules of Engagement, Seperation of Stuff, and Feelings and Moods. I think if I can begin the tedious task of trying to learn these things and behaviors and learn to implement them in my life they can be very helpful. I read through it all, and most of it makes sense even though I can see how difficult this journey might be for me. But Seperation of Stuff might as well have been written in Greek. I kind of get it but it feels like I am missing something and can't put my finger on what. Anyway any friendly words of advice and support anyone wishes to offer will be appreciated.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Dec 31, 2007 8:53 pm 
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Joined: Sat Dec 03, 2005 6:00 pm
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Glad to meet you, roysgirl! :welcome

The board has been kind of slow lately, and being New Year's Eve, there aren't too many people around. If you want to post more about yourself, or ask specific questions, I suggest posting in the forum called "On the Border."

You've made a very good start, copying all of the tools. Don't worry about understanding them; it takes time to learn to use them and to understand them. I'm not sure I can explain Separation of Stuff very well, but I'm sure you will catch on, when it comes up in your life.

It's too bad there aren't any therapists in your area except for the one who is expensive and not under your insurance. Maybe you could see seem for half a session or less often to get you started. Did you ask his office if there is any one else they could recommend? Is there a hospital near you that may have therapists on the staff?

BPDR is a great place to get support, so you've made a good start by coming here.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jan 01, 2008 7:24 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jul 29, 2005 6:00 pm
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:bluewave Howdy, Rosy! Please know that printing & reading is a great start but this stuff isn't like learning "2 + 2 = 4" -- it'll take months of hands-on practice (usually after-the-fact, meaning after you've already had a meltdown!) to really be able to do meaningful things with the tools. I hope that's not as discouraging as it could sound cuz, honestly, assuming you're at least 28 yrs old, a few months of work to re-learn skills that you've mastered over a lifetime ... ?!

You're in a good place here, Rosy - welcome aboard! :elephant


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 Post subject: Thanks
PostPosted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 10:24 am 
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Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2007 6:00 pm
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I know that the road ahead is a long and arduous one. And I don't expect that only printing and reading the tools is going to do anything. I go over at least one tool a day and ponder it and so far am using it retrospectively (looking back on past meltdowns and analyzing how it would have helped to apply the tools).

I am 34, and therefore have been thinking "twisted" all of my adult life at least. But I really am truely motivated to change how I think and react (inappropriately etc).

I am sure that I will at some point get discouraged, but the last time I had a meltdown I tired to jump out of a moving car. I have four kids. I can't be acting out like that again. I need to do whatever it takes to reorganize my thinking and hope to find encouragement and support here.


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