BPDRecovery.com: Forums

Ive been seperated from my undiagnosed BPDSO... I just want to understand what goes through the mind.. I loved her to death .. I loved her in a healthy way.. and it wasnt enough.. the rages the continuous shots to my self esteem.. knocked me down.. what does it feel like.. Why...

I'm sorry that that had to happen to you, Gary. I am a BPD diagnosed individual, so I can't really see it from your perspective, even though I wish I could. I can't answer why either... I don't even know if there's a "why" in this situation...

Perhaps you'd like to visit http://www.borderlinefamily.com. It is the forum for "nons"- those that are involved with those diagnosed with BPD. All I can really say at this point is that I have made my past relationships feel like they weren't good enough even though they tried--- and it's kind of hard to explain , but I never wanted to do that to them, yet I still did. I just yearned and yearned for more love. It's so hard to say why because even I don't understand it. I just know what you are talking about, and I do believe it is typical for BPD sufferers.

I don't know if this helps at all, but coming from me, if I could have not had those problems, I would be a lot happier. I wish I could have just felt like everything was good enough and just saw things in a less confused light back then. But I couldn't.

I appreciate your response.. Just looking for a different angle on it is all....

i can only speak for me on things. i can tell you my anger was and is a combination of inner child issues and a inability to know HOW to control my emotions and learn better ways to express them.

since i had a hard time facing who i was angry at, and feelings will nver go away , i expressed it at the wrong people.

it can be controlled, changed, and learned during recovery. to say it cant is a cop out. it takes a lot of hard work, and pain to heal with this stuff.

i hope this helps in some small way.

you must keep boundaries and not allow her to rage at you. i am married to a N, a degree of bpd, and i have had to work with him a TON to have him find out what isnt acceptable. it isnt easy. im not sure its worth it.

be consistent and keep those boundaries strong. good luck to you. only she knows what goes thru her mind. only she can heal this. only you can keep her from hurting you.

remember there is diff types of bpd and degrees.