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 Post subject: Not sure BPD???!!!
PostPosted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 11:31 pm 
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Location: Berkeley, CA
Hi, I just joined bpdfamily.com, too-- here's my "first post" from there:

Hi all,

My fiance of 2 years (together for 5+) and I have been going through a "dry" time (I say hard time). He and his mother (a therapist with BPD mother) and HIS therapist, all say I have BPD. I am skeptical, but this week had the worst breakdown so far as I moved out of our home, into my friend's, and back, all within 24 hours, which went along with crying, regret, emptiness, panic, and other emotions that I can't recall. The timing is characteristic of BPD (fiance was away for grad school interviews, I moved all of my things and didn't tell him I did until after his interview was over, last part not so BPD I think). He says it was manipulative, but honestly I thought it was better to do the whole thing when he was with his family so that he could have a support system. Yes, I was trying to get a reaction from him and I do recognize that I put myself in a crisis situation in order to get rescued.

I have been reading books (reluctantly-- I get too stressed) about BPD, the main reason being that my mother is DEFINITELY BPD [Understanding the Borderline Mother, and just bought another but can't remember the name. We own Walking on Eggshells but I haven't read it]. I have been in individual therapy for 5 years, mostly because of my upbringing (emotional neglect and abuse, physical abuse). I have asked my therapist if she thinks I have BPD, she says no. So again, I am skeptical, but I am trying this out. If nothing else hopefully my fiance and I can learn to communicate better.

So that's it sort of. I don't like this talking to strangers about personal life stuff, but I want to marry this man and I am out of options at this point.

Thanks,

AndEverythingNice

P.S. Here's some clarification:

Me: Panic Disorder. This therapist I have been with for over 2 years. The one before that was also 2 years (she was an intern and got a perm job out of state). I asked my T if I had BPD, she said no, but from what I am hearing/reading, the BPD is not always told. But I sincerely doubt that she withheld that info. Plus I am one of her first clients EVER, she is new/recent PsyD graduate, so maybe she doesn't know so much about it? Either way I like her a lot and she is supportive so whatever, it doesn't matter so much I think.

My Fiance: In a psychology program for career (full time student), in therapy with the same guy for 3+ years. He has PTSD. I have never met his therapist, but fiance just told me that his therapist told him not to talk about me "having" BPD because it is not helpful (ok....).

Fiance's "mom": not his biological mom, but the woman who is filling the mother role for him since his real mom passed away almost 7 years ago. She is 1/2 BPD because her mother was BPD. She will be referred to as his mom just because it's easier than saying "his kind-of mom" and then explaining that again and again. She is an MFT and says to me and to fiance that I have BPD. Usually I just brush her off if she mentions it.

Fiance's dad: real dad, he is Narcissistic PD. Not really in our lives.

My mom: BPD, diagnosed by me. She's a lot like the Queen of Hearts in Alice in Wonderland, you never know if you are friend or foe.

My dad: not sure what he has, but definitely emotionally absent. Authoritarian (NOT authoritative) Parenting.

My brother: Asperger's Syndrome and Major Depression (unofficially and also diagnosed by me)

Argh ok so that is my life more (or less) clear.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 12:45 am 
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Hello, AENice, and welcome.

BPD can make for some very turbulent times, yes?

For me, the hardest parts were...

Being clueless that I had it and trying to figure out why I was doing all that crazy stuff for so many years.

Deciding on the proper name for it, because it was not really clear cut and could have involved numerous PDs and PTSD and Co-Dependency

Then I found a wonderful DBT therapist.. (daughter found her.. good thing too after she offered the diagnosis secretly to my wife five weeks earlier...) and we worked with the DSM criteria for a few weeks and she wasn't any more certain than me.. but said... "Hey... Bill Rosanna Danna... you got problematic behavior patterns, right? You wanna have different patterns, right? So, whaddya say we get to work?"

That was probably the most important thing anyone has ever said to me that didn't sound like "I love you."

So hop on the bus if you like the surroundings. Call it your office. It's been a good place to work for me.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 5:33 pm 
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Joined: Fri Feb 22, 2008 6:00 pm
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Location: Illinois
As I have been told many times the Dx of BPD is very difficult. Many of the symptoms are prominate in other psychological Dxs also. I have been DXed with BPD for many years and recentally after being hospitalized for 16 months I started seeing a new pdoc. She does not fully blieve in the BPD DX. She is certain that I am bipolar. I have had many DXs but never bipolar.

It really does not matter what your DX is as long as the symptoms are treated some how. It is really more about the symptoms then the DX.

It sounds to me like you have BPD symptoms if not true BPD. So, this board along with therapy, meds (if you take them), and support groups should help you.

I have discovered that psychlogical diagnosis is somewhat of a joke.... (just a little info about me) I want to be a psychologist yet this is my belief. Symptoms over diagnosis.

Hope this helps... Juju


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