BPDRecovery.com: Forums

my name is erin. i was diagnosed with ptsd as a kid. was in an out of the hospital as a teenager. recently tried to commit suicide for the third time. was hospitalized again and diagnosed with bpd and mdd w/psychotic features. have been in and out of therapy in the last few years. gone recently to marital therapy with my husband. i am not sure whether or not we will be getting divorced. i don't have any kids. no friends. don't have much of a family either. i am not currently on medication. my last med was effexor like a year ago. it helped my depression a lot, but made me really sick so i quit and stopped seeing my psychiatrist. i have learned a lot about bpd since I was diagnosed. i have had times where i felt like i was figuring out myself and my life and i thought i was getting better. but i still go through the depression pretty bad, pretty regularly. i have been really depressed and suicidal lately, and it always brings the bpd stuff back full swing. i am just having a hard time, and i guess i am here because i am running out of ways to deal with this. i guess that's it for now.

~ erin

First of all, welcome. This is a good place for information and support. Sometimes it can be tough because people call you on your crap, but that is just part of working on you.

Since you are suicidal, maybe you should start going back to a pdoc for some meds. Effexor is not the only med. Maybe it wasn't the one for you, but that doesn't mean to stop taking anti depressants all together. I believe most people here are on a combination of meds. I know I take Wellbutrin for depression, Lamictal as a mood stabilizer, and xanex for anxiety. Sometimes I get frustrated thinking I will have to take a pill every morning to feel like pulling my butt out of bed. Then I just think about how things were before I started taking them and how miserable I was making myself and the people I love.

hi, thanks for the welcome and the advice. i have been speaking with my husband about this and i do think i am ready to try some new medication, so i will be looking for a psychiatrist today. i know it will probably help. i am tired of feeling this way.

anyway, i think it is good for people to be honest with each other, so i guess i will be looking forward to being called on my crap. and of course looking forward to making some friends that understand what i am going through. i have really been needing that lately.

~ erin

Welcome.