BPDRecovery.com: Forums

Hi.

My name is Beth and I have BPD. All these years never quite understanding what my problem was...what a waste. But I'm finally here - although on the verge of divorce, with an 8 month old baby to care for and a long road ahead of me.

I'm not going to let this beat me. I've never been strong enough to change for myself, but I can change for my son. I refuse to shatter his only chance for a "normal" family life because I was TOO WEAK to realize that I AM THE PROBLEM.

Where do I start??? Help!! My poor husband that I've abused so much is too exhausted to "be there" anymore and I don't blame him. I'm going this alone now and I'm begging for some guidance.

Thanks.

Beth

good to meet you, beth.

are you in counseling? on meds? there are low fee places out there.

parenting classes are a excellent resource.

i applaud this step! it is the hardest.

check out the board, the Tools section, read all you can online and with books. ask questions. small steps, baby steps and it will take time and hard work. but its soooo worth it.

welcome!

Hello.

Thanks for the encouragement. I have my first appointment with a doctor on the 19th. Otherwise I'm trying to get in touch with a social worker (my insurance approved for 6 sessions) but she hasn't called me back yet. I did pick up some St. John's Wort and 5-HTP at the local store today and a few books from Barnes & Noble - "Sometimes I Feel Crazy" and "Borderline Personality Disorder Demystified". Plus last night after I found this site - I wrote a long apology letter and made copies to send to family and friends. I hope it will help them understand what's going on - at least put a name to it so they can start to understand. Although it did cross my mind - perhaps that's not so smart, admitting (in print) to so many awful things with a child custody case potentially still in the future. Any thoughts?

Welcome.