BPDRecovery.com: Forums

Hi, im new. i have a BPD diagnosis about a year now. did the 8 skills (im from ireland... and there isnt a DBT program yet, but the hosp i attend set up an 8 week skills day program.
im so happy to find this site.
im so lost and alone tonight

Hi fidget!
Yesss, another member from Europe! I am German, moved here 7 1/2 years ago and live in the Seattle area. I am a new member myself and found that the board is a great place to vent, to get feedback and information from others who are only too familiar with what I (we, you) am going through. What a great revelation to actually have a name for this after years of feeling like a complete freak. I am looking forward to hear more from you soon!!!!
Birgit the dramaqueen

hi Birgit.... i like Dramaqueen... its good name (though somewhat lacking in compassion and validation!!)
yeah it really does seem to be a great site. i have some good friends. a few of which also have a borderline diagnosis. at the moment of four of us 3 are in hospital. i am the only one who has not succumbed to admission.
its a lonely feeling. like i am the only one still hanging on to the thread. the rest are giving up (again). i get frightened when stuff like this goes on coz i worry that there really is no end to the madness. and the only escape is the big S (which i have already committd to not doin at least for 2008!)
i dunno, its not fair really (i know major self pity there.) but its not. its so hard

I chose the name because that's what I have been called so many times that I got sick of it until I realized that it really describes me well at my best borderline days. As for compassion, I must say that I lack it in most areas. I am compassionate only when it comes to children, animals and injustice/unfairness. I prefer usually to process everything intellectually since I cannot trust my feelings/emotions yet.
I am sorry to hear that you have such a terrible time right now and I hope that this site can provide some tools for you to get through the rough hours. I think the simple fact that you made a committment not to harm yourself in 2008 and have not followed in your friends' footsteps, is the first step towards your recovery. So I applaud you for this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, it is lonely when you are different than most other people. Do you have anyone who knows about your dx and who is not also BPD affected? Sometimes it really helps to say thoughts out loud to another person who can help putting it into perspective without judging or giving unwanted advise. I always feel much better when I talk to someone or write in my journal. Much of which doesn't make sense and is just a wild collection of words. If you don't have access to a DBT therapist (I don't either) maybe you could get some of the reading material and workbooks and stuff that is available. I found most of it on amazon for a good price. It is better than nothing after all. And the many board members who are in recovery can give us so much hope that there is another life out there, even though it is hard work!
Please hang in there!!!!!
Birgit