im not sure if this has been asked
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Author:  82biddle82 [ Tue May 31, 2011 3:07 pm ]
Post subject:  im not sure if this has been asked

i have 2 questions, i have been told by many people interacting with others who also suffer from it is a bad idea because we can lift each other up or bring each other down, due to the fact we react to what the atmosphere is...some one feels bad ..you feel bad ...some one is happy then your happy is this just ignorance?? and i feel like my mind is working at hyper speed all the time i cant sleep till i pass out. when i have what i call a borderline moment i cant be rational i use distraction to get through this, humor music talking what ever it takes and bounce back faster each time...when i am in these hyperspeed moods some times the distractions dont help so im constantly trying to find something new to keep my mind occupided...is this normal

i should add i am working with a very good doctor and councilor and i am on medication....its just some times that is not enough...

can some one please answer this i really want to know

Author:  Ash [ Wed Jun 01, 2011 1:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: im not sure if this has been asked


What you describe is partly-associated with Separation of Stuff. Because people with BPD don't really have a solid sense of self, they allow themselves to be defined (by themselves!) by those around them - as you described.

That said, BPDR is one of the best places on the internet in my not-so-humble opinion because we stay focused on recovery. Certainly no one here can dictate "You should not be feeling that way!" because that's only within the realm of the control of the person experiencing the feeling. We do tend to be on the lookout for transference and/or poor boundaries though and these instances are usually raised in the form of a question. For instance, "You seem quite agitated; is there something else going on for you?"

The racing mind is something that may or may not calm down with the correct medication(s)/med-cocktail. Additionally, the racing mind can sometimes calm down once we feel more secure within our Genuine Selves, once we feel confident in our ability to work with our tools.

I hope this helps - and welcome to BPDR!

Author:  82biddle82 [ Wed Jun 01, 2011 2:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: im not sure if this has been asked

wow im really shocked u picked that up.....yes there has been a lot of stress at home here in australia victoria in particular there is somthing going on.....people are getting sick constantly over and over.....with the same thing this is creating depression ...understandably....my neice 16 years old was diognosed with what i think is clinical depression due to stress in her life that were out of her control. it could also be a temp thing....anyways i have been talking to her a lot about this as i went throu a depression stage where i had to be put on the same medication at her age....i have suffered from god i dont know when i think 13....core prob sexual abuse from a trused family member, add in a father who would not accept or treat bi polar and some pretty nasty relasionships and here we are lol...any way i noticed the signs in her pretty early on ...but was worried how to approch her no teenager wants to admit somthing as big as that ....so about 2 weeks ago i went to get her up for school saw what was going on and took the bull by the horns (i felt responsable for her not sleeping a whole night due to stress because i had taken a call and said somthing without knowing i wasnt suppose to say it) and took her to a very nice gental gp with a psychological background....gave him the out line of the problems and let her have her privacy to discuss it openly with him.....anyway as i said i started talking to her a lot about this and we have bonded as a result she wont go to her parents (mum and dad seperated) me my sister and my neice , her boyfriend plus two house mates in one house....as i started looking around i noticed the same thing going on with everyone so started giving everyone a peice of my time to make them feel loved and that some one understood....took control of the whole situation tried to protect each person from each issue....my sister finally had a go at me and said i am her mother ....i have to do this u need to step back and le me handle it.....basically its all blown up in my face i was sick throu the two weeks with worry almost obsessed about making sure everyone was happy....going withoutsleep food even a showe my own basic needs to function...ala the stress...i finally broke down two days ago and went to my gp and said i do not think i am on sufficant medication for what i need told him everything that has been going on ....side note had to come to the conclusion my father is not interested in us ...i refused to give up on him no matter what h did or didnt do.....finally i realised it myself so that was another stress.....he was harming me not helping me....i went to the doctor with the knowlage that if i didnt seek help i would not beable to contain the impolse to self harm.....i have now taken a step back from what my sister wanted to do even though it went against my way of things....its been very hard watching ppl suffer and not being able to do somthing for hear of being told i was taking over.......when that happen i felt very angry ...because to me i thought i was only trying to help and ur slapping in the face as a thank you....god i hope this makes sense....my sister gave me some home truths last night as i finally said what is it that u want do u want me to stay out of this completely ???? or do u want to work...she works i stay home not allowed to work yet....so im here for my neice and her bf if they need medical help....so i some times have to make a excustive descion.....we came to some agrement but i was very angry.....she was very upset i feel guilty as anything for having a go at her (she has just been given news she has multiple ulcers in her stomach she also has an extremerly high pressured job) all i am trying to do is offer help and make her realise she doesnt have to do everything herself....i can give that advice im lousy at taking it....the things she pointed out to me wa home truths....i realised that later....i have sent her an email asking her to accept my appology as i really dont think she can deal with me face to face at the moment i ran the email by my mother to make sure it was ok ...i need reassurance im not doing the wrong thing....soooo there it all is sorry it is a bit of a story

Author:  82biddle82 [ Thu Jun 02, 2011 2:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: im not sure if this has been asked update

ok i let a lot out last message needed to not going to apologise because i understand that as part of my bpdr i have to stop apologising for having bpd it is not my fault i did not ask for it :)

i have been reassesing everything and realised yes i do need to step back and let my sister take control and when it gets to hard not step in and help because my sister and neice have to be able to learn to communicate with each other and sort things out as a team and i also have to factor in my neice is nearly an adult and if she does not start learning now it will only get worse as time progress's this was not easy at first and still isnt but i am making headway...i agree i will step in if i am required to but not at the expense of my recovery. my recovery is very important to me, i cant help others if i am sick or worn out or having a bpd moment. i have made my family well aware of the fact i have bpd and encouraged them to educated them selves about bpd so they will recognise what i am trying to achieve and that i can not help some times having and impulsive moments... my mother has done so and is very aware of everything that goes on with some one with bpd i would not class her as a non....if other people in my family do not wish to educate them selves on the subject of bpd that is not my fault...as the saying goes you can lead a horse to water....but you can not make them drink.....i have made some big accomplishments this week that nons would consider a half effort....those around me who do understand bpd recognise that these are big steps for me and they encorage me and tell me they are proud of me, before i would just brush it off, now i accept these praises....today i am going to tackle somthing i have been putting off for a while....going further than my comfert zone....i understand it is a daunting thing but i also regonise it is something i have to do even if i dont want to. i have looked more thoroghly at this website and am so shocked what i am feeling is what everyone else feels with bpd...i will be purchasing the book and will treat it like some would a bible, i am writing this so that i can recognise what i have accomplised so far and also to share with others if u do put these steps into action it will work.....i feel wonderful for what i have achieved so far :)

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