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 Post subject: Just feel kinda sad
PostPosted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 10:53 pm 
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I'm not sure why. Could be I'm kind of anxious too, as it's travel time again. This time by car, not plane. I think I've got a little agoraphobia when it comes to leaving my city.

I'm missing my t too. Wishing I could see her as my t again, but can't see spending the more than $100 per session so often.

I'm sad about getting older. You never think when you're young that you will ever be old, but it's approaching, and I'm scared.

I've got terrible allergies, and the shots I've had for years don't seem to help right now. I'm also getting panic attacks or hyperglycemia. The new ailment of the week! I seem to have something wrong with me all the time. I do get regular check-ups.

So, I'm just kinda sad. Maybe being an empty nester, being a grandma. The latter is wonderful, but where did the time go? I don't want to be old. I still want to be that child and have someone hold me.

Well, this too will pass. I guess.

Can anyone relate? I feel like crying. How do I use the tools for these kinds of feelings?


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 Post subject: Re: Just feel kinda sad
PostPosted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 11:02 pm 
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I'm sorry you're sad. Maybe it's the approaching winter - I get sad/anxious about winter too.

I think you could try one of the DBT skills - maybe comparing yourself with others. I don't use it very often but you could try. You just think of other people who maybe don't have what you have - lovely daughters, wonderful grandchildren. Or anything else you might think of.

You can just Observe your feelings and then Describe them. You said you have journaled - maybe write it down. Sometimes just writing it down helps relieve the tension.

When was the last time you had a physical? Maybe your blood sugar is too low. You might try eating a piece of cheese if you feel that anxious feeling that might come from too low blood sugar. I know if I don't eat enough protein I can feel it. Or eat a few almonds or other kinds of nuts - they have protein.

I have periods where I wonder where time has gone by too. For me, it's been more about missing family who is gone. I was thinking about that the other day. So then I began thinking about my cousins and how close I am to them and how much I love them. I know it sounds corny, but it did lift my spirits. You are so fortunate to have 3 lovely grandchildren - think about them and how much you enjoy them. They are the future. Believe me, take it from one who knows - you are fortunate to have them. I probably will never have grandchildren. So I focus on my son and how much I love him.

Sometimes we just have to ride through these feelings. Not push them away but just sit with them. Accept them and realize that they will pass. If you're really concerned about anxiety attacks, can you see a pdoc? I know your T doesn't take your insurance, but a pdoc is a medical doctor and should be covered under most health care plans.

I was thinking about you earlier. I'm glad you're here and I hope you feel better soon!

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 Post subject: Re: Just feel kinda sad
PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 5:54 am 
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Wondering, I think Bordergirl gave you some good ideas. Sometimes sadness just happens, and all we can do is recognize it and let the feeling happen until it passes. Other times, something may actually be wrong that you need to address. I usually figure out that I need to address it when just letting the feeling happen does not lead to it going away. Sometimes the cause is physical; other times it's mental; either way, a doctor visit usually is the first step for me. jim

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 Post subject: Re: Just feel kinda sad
PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 11:56 am 
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Thanks, BG. That was such a nice response, and practical too! :) I know I'm fortunate to have my children and grandchildren. Maybe it's more anxiety and physical symptoms that are bothering me. I have to see when I need a blood test because of my triglyceride medicine; if it's soon, I'll ask for my blood sugar to be tested too in case they don't already do it. I've gotten conflicting advice about what to do (not from doctors; I didn't ask yet!) about low blood sugar. Either eat protein, or eat sugar right away. I'm going to look it up online. I've only felt that way a few times in my life, and of course, never at a time near a doctor's appointment. But if it's happening more often, I'll have to find out about it and get it checked, especially since my blood sugar was borderline at my last check-up.

I will keep in mind about a p-doc covered under insurance. Thank you.

Thank you, Jim. My husband thinks I'm a hypochondriac, but my symptoms are all real, so you're right about seeing a doctor if they don't go away.


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 Post subject: Re: Just feel kinda sad
PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 1:25 pm 
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Hi Wondering! I have been thinking about you lately, just 'wondering' if you were doing okay (no pun intended). Like BG, I'm glad to see you posted, although I'm not happy it means you aren't happy.

It sounds to me like maybe you are being a little too nostalgic, something I find myself doing at times too. I get in the mode of thinking 'it was so good back then' or 'if only I had done this differently'. When in reality, it wasn't so good back then, I am much better in my mental state now. Sure, I miss some things about my 'past life', but I try to remember all the things I really do enjoy about my current situation. It seems to help with the funk. I guess I try to focus on the Now and the positives in my life. It usually brings my sadness into perspective.

I agree with others about seeing a doc about some of the physical things like blood sugar. If you are getting info from 'conflicting' sources, I highly recommend seeing a professional to see how to deal with something medical appropriately. It may cost something tangible upfront, but will probably save you in the long run in terms of worry, which in my book wreaks havoc on your physical self.

I also identify with the anxiety of travel. I love to travel, but as the date approaches, I get nervous about not knowing my way around a new city or knowing anyone there or countless other worries. My lists of worry can go on and on. But....traveling is fun! Getting to see another city, another place. Getting to explore something I have never done. I try to see it not as a challenge, but as an adventure. Roll with the flow and not have too many 'set' ideas of how it 'should' go, because in my experience there are always delays or changes that are unexpected. If I go into a travel experience thinking that it is just one great adventure after another with the expectation that 'what fun can I have from this?' kinda thought, no matter what develops, it makes things better for me and I get more out of it overall.

I wish the sadness to subside, Wondering. I know sometimes that is easier said than done. I do believe that sometimes it can be a matter of changing perspectives. Good wishes to you!

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 Post subject: Re: Just feel kinda sad
PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 1:32 pm 
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my pal;s son is a true hypoglycemic.

protein, those deals in the cold section with turkey, cheese and crackers? are great. cant think what their called.......

no sugar. very little. it will cause the swings. he eats small meals every 3 hours...like the above. of course he is a teenager and still drinks cokes and eats candy so he tends to pass out still.

they did a 8 hour glucose tolerance test on him.......to dx this.

im not a dr...but this is easily checked into online if someone cares to. it isnt medical advice, but it will help keep you stable till you have a test done or see a dr.

high blood sugar will do the same thing. either way, no/little sugar is the best way to go....to avoid the swings. one needs meds,. one doesnt. the fun thing is seeing how much sugar is in so many foods, and what you cant have.

good luck with this.

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 Post subject: Re: Just feel kinda sad
PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 2:41 pm 
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This physical discussion probably should have been in another forum. Anyway, I also have allergies, have gotten shots for about 8 years, and recently my allergist said I had mild asthma. I take Allegra and it is making me very tired, maybe also causing the sadness since I have been taking it more regularly than I used to. I'm not sleeping well either. I have an inhaler but I've never used it, and not sure if I need it or not. For someone who doesn't like meds, I sure take a lot, LOL. Minocycline for roseacea, which is helping, and gemfibrozil for triglycerides. Yes, giving up sugar would be a good thing for all my ailments. I'm going to try.

Thanks, Harmonium and Jody. I feel better when I don't take the Allegra, but then I can't stop sneezing. My allergist said I can cut the pills in half. I used to take Claritin when it was prescription but Allegra is much cheaper.

I've got to do some work online now.


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 Post subject: Re: Just feel kinda sad
PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 2:47 pm 
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I realized that I wrote about allergies, when neither Jody nor Harmonium mentioned them. It was on my mind that the way I feel today is probably more allergy/Allegra related than due to low blood sugar. It's also hot out today, and I don't like hot weather. I'm in the basement, which is so full of stuff that it doesn't help my allergies either!!

I just won't be able to get in to see my doctor for a couple of weeks, as I'll be out-of-town, and when I come back I have a very busy work schedule. I just don't have time to feel sick.


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 Post subject: Re: Just feel kinda sad
PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 2:51 pm 
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I can relate. In less than a year my youngest will be off to college and I will be an empty nester. I often wonder where the time has gone. It seems like just yesterday that I was young and had little ones.

Is there anything you've always wanted to do but didn't really have the time to do in your younger days? I've been working on changing my career path and it seems to give me some hope for the future despite the fact that I am getting older.

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 Post subject: Re: Just feel kinda sad
PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 3:18 pm 
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April: Time does fly, doesn't it?! I have a hobby that I'm passionate about, and never have enough time to do it. I think that I'm predicting (twisted thinking) that my physical health is going to deteriorate so I won't be able to do the things I want to do. Easy to think that way when not feeling so well.

Good luck with your career change!


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 Post subject: Re: Just feel kinda sad
PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 5:20 pm 
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When I feel a low blood sugar attack coming on, I eat protein. A piece of cheese or some almonds. I dont' think sugar is the right thing to eat. That will only spike up your sugar and then send it down to the basement again. You'll get a rebound effect. I think protein is definitely the way to go.

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 Post subject: Re: Just feel kinda sad
PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 5:24 pm 
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Wondering, I am not feeling too well today either. I only had about 3 hours sleep last night. I'm exhausted! My whole body just feels funny - I can't explain it. Maybe it's coz I'm so tired, I dont' know. So I can relate to how you feel. We just gotta ride it out, you know? And as everyone said, if you really feel that you are not well, see your doctor. Maybe something needs to be tweaked, is all.

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 Post subject: Re: Just feel kinda sad
PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 8:22 pm 
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I realized that I wrote about allergies, when neither Jody nor Harmonium mentioned them


I thought about this. I realized that I didn't touch on your allergy issue because in my neck of the woods, it is an issue with Everyone. I mean, Everyone has some kind of allergy or another, and it makes us all feel odd at times. It is so prevelent in my area, it just isn't seen as a big deal. So I guess in my mind that was the lessor of your issues, although I am not in any way trying to downplay any of your problems. I do realize that any physical issue can be a big deal, I am not in any way trying to say otherwise. I guess it is all reletive, to each of the symtoms experienced by the individual. In any case, I am not the person to advise on such as I am not a doc and I stand by my earlier statement, to see a medical professional about any medical issues that may be contributing to any affect of mood.

As for allergies per se, I have found for me that a very, very, very, very, very, very, very small, diluted exposure to the substance of which I am allergic (as in homeopathic remedies) has an effect in a postive way to my immune system. FWIW. I also have found that eating local foods, local products, aid in my immunity. I believe this because I have noticed a difference in my own bodies immune function.

Just my :2cents

P.S. I was trying Really Hard not to say anything about the way you 'should' eat when your blood sugar is low, but I agree with BG and Jody. Sugar is not good for people on the line with this, even sugars found in some fruits and white potatoesd. Protein is best. Carbohydrates make blood sugar spike, so complex carbs are best, think brown rice, yams, legumes. This is over-strict and simplified, but if your blood sugar is out of whack, it can help.

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 Post subject: Re: Just feel kinda sad
PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 9:56 pm 
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I feel a little better because I think the Allegra wore off and I haven't started sneezing yet! Harmonium: I meant it was rude of ME to rattle on about allergies when YOU didn't mention them. Where I live, this is a very bad time for allergies.

I agree about the protein except if you are already diabetic and that happens, you are supposed to eat sugar.

The main point of this thread for me is the understanding that my physical condition influences my mental state. Duh! I know that's obvious but I still tend to lump everything together into black and white: healthy or well. Even with physical health, there's the grey. I may feel anxious, worried about breathing, worried about feeling faint, but I'm okay. I may feel anxious about traveling, about my job, about getting older, but I'll get through it and be mindful of all the happiness that comes my way.

It's also nice to know people care about me. Thank you.


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 Post subject: Re: Just feel kinda sad
PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 4:13 am 
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Location: Reality ~ It's a great place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there!
Physical illness of any kind can drain our mental resources. My older daughter let her resistance get low by her lack of sleep resulting from an increase in activity (working and school) and she ended up sick. Sure enough, I am sick now too because I also was not taking care of the body while my daughter managed to share enough of her germs with me. We are both working at a large theme park doing the haunted house and haunted trail (collectively called Fright Fest) each weekend, which involves long hours outdoors in the cold and damp (there are fog machines that add to the humidity on the trail). Now we are both coughing, sneezing, and running a fever so our symptoms are mainly flu like - I have a sinus infection and UTI that makes work a bit uncomfortable right now but I will be grateful when the paycheck comes in (not to mention free tickets for the amusement park). Since our jobs are to scare people, we have both made ourselves hoarse this weekend but hopefully it will not take a full week of recovery to get healthy again.

Ironically, I am here posting now as a distraction from the stress of my financial situation. I won't get a paycheck until October 23rd but our utilities are scheduled to be shut off tomorrow so I need to figure out something to keep our heat on (it has been off all summer and we just turned it on not long ago) so my daughters do not have to share in my financial worries by doing without the things I can't afford with my husband gone (he just informed me about the gas shut-off this evening so I am having a hard time sleeping knowing I need to get this taken care of right away).

Anyway, the point I am trying to make is that there are many things that can have an impact on our mental functioning and until we get those things taken care of, we won't be at our best. I don't know if Seasonal Affect Disorder (SAD) is an issue for you but it is for many people in this area of the country. October is always a hard month for me and it could be the change in the weather that gets me so out of sorts this time of year. I should really be asleep so I may have to give it another try now or I won't get any sleep at all.

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 Post subject: Re: Just feel kinda sad
PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 4:28 am 
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Hi. I hope you're feeling better this morning. Dont' have anything to add - just wanted to wish you a good week!!!! :)

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 Post subject: Re: Just feel kinda sad
PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 5:47 am 
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I've not anything to add Wondering but wanted to pop by and say hi!

You have had a busy time with your daughters wedding etc.. I wonder if you are just feeling a post event slump?

So, I am curious about that lady in the mirror and thought it might be worth a shot giving her a smile and a wave.

Hope you feel better soon!

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 Post subject: Re: Just feel kinda sad
PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 10:38 am 
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Hi Wondering! I also wanted to drop in and say hello. I hope today is a better day for you!

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 Post subject: Re: Just feel kinda sad
PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 2:28 pm 
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Thanks, Harmonium, BG, and Denim. Yes, I feel better today.

Tracy: thanks for reminding me about the woman in the mirror. I've been forgetting to smile at her. :)


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 Post subject: Re: Just feel kinda sad
PostPosted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 9:29 am 
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Hi Wondering,

Sorry to hear you're feeling low. Having physical problems does affect our emotions, so if you're struggling with your blood sugar, allergies, and not sleeping well, it's bound to pull you down. I hope by now you are feeling a bit better.

I am in my mid 40's and have also been thinking about the passage of time and its effect on my relationships and life goals. It's sad to think about upcoming losses as we get older, and hobbies or dreams we've had that haven't happened thus far. Or the health we enjoyed when we were younger. It's perfectly natural to think about all these things from time to time. Validate our feelings.

After that, it's important to evaluate our life today, using radical acceptance of "the way it is." We can review the good relationships we have now, and the things we enjoy. Even the small things, like the taste of something we love to eat, or the sweet song of birds, or the way the fall colors blend into one another. It's important to catch those moments of joy or wonder as they happen. Don't let regret over the past, or worry about the future, steal those fleeting moments of happiness. When they happen, try to hang onto them in your heart. Maybe write about them in your journal. Relive them in your mind.

Some days, you just feel like crap, and that's the way it is!! But tomorrow is always a fresh start.

Hope you're having a better today.


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 Post subject: Re: Just feel kinda sad
PostPosted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 1:02 pm 
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Location: Reality ~ It's a great place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there!
I don't know if your sad feelings could be the result of a depressed mood, medical issues or if it is just situational but I hope you can figure out what you need to do in order to help yourself feel better. Typically sad thoughts and feelings don't mean we are depressed, especially if there is good cause for having sad thoughts and feelings.

I have been struggling with feeling sick, both physically and mentally, so I finally went to see my doctor to talk about going back on meds. Of course she did not know I was off meds because I have not seen her since I went off a year or two ago (I can't remember how long it has been) so it was a bit unusual for me to show up asking to go back on meds after all this time. I am not always aware of the depression so it is easy to look at the symptoms as situational but I have noticed the constant "sick" feeling and the "dizziness" that has been getting worse lately with the additional stress in my life. As soon as I caught myself wanting to sleep and never wake up. and even hoping to be dead soon, I realized that I was probably depressed and should do something about it before it gets any worse, as it has in the past. My doctor knows how much I hate being "sick" and taking drugs so she was pretty quick to write out a prescription without asking too many questions. It took me a couple days to come up with some money to get the prescription filled but I am hopeful that I will be feeling better soon.

I am wondering if there are things you are doing to help elevate your mood in addition to taking care of your physical health. Sometimes it is just a matter of seeing humor in challenges or trying to find the positive when everything seems so negative. My car would not start yesterday (or many days lately since my fuel pump is having problems) so when I was thinking it might be helpful to put gas in from the carburetor, my daughter tried to help by spraying starter fluid in my carburetor. Unfortunately she sprayed it all over and it caught fire because two of my coils are sparking to the engine block! As things keep going from bad to worse, all I can do is laugh at times because I know that some day in the future we will be laughing about setting my car on fire. After cranking it enough with a jump start, I was able to get it started and then smoke out the starter fluid and steam out the water we used to put out the fire so that I could go get my prescription filled.

I am not suggesting that you ignore the sadness and try to laugh at things that are not all that funny in the moment, but perhaps there are things you can do to put things into perspective. At times like this I start thinking about the Holocaust because that is the worst thing I can think of to have to live through. I have some books about the Holocaust but I also picked up a book recently written by an American who spent 23 years in the Soviet gulag so perhaps after I have finished reading his story I will have something else to think about when I am feeling hopeless about the situations in my life. It is so easy to get self-absorbed and self-focused when we are not feeling well so sometimes it just takes putting our focus elsewhere for awhile to help us gain some perspective.

These are things I have found helpful so I am sharing them with the hope that you can figure out what might be helpful for you. I hope I have not made this too much about me. I have a grasp of my own situation so I am not looking for feedback about anything I have shared. I am trying to offer ideas of things you may not have tried yet.

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 Post subject: Re: Just feel kinda sad
PostPosted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 4:22 pm 
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protein, those deals in the cold section with turkey, cheese and crackers? are great. cant think what their called.......


(Lunchables.)

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