BPDRecovery.com: Forums

I have been really depressed and dealing with some family issues. I've let myself make things worse by allowing my thoughts to run wild and get into all kinds of distortions. I want to do better.. to police my thinking and at least TRY to make myself feel better instead of sitting around in pain and wallowing.

Sometimes working on things just feels too overwhelming and complicated.. like untwisting all my thoughts or journaling is too much for that moment... "what type of distorted thought is that? I dunno... nevermind, whatever" is what I'll think. I need a quicker, easier tool like the 5 steps but around my thinking.

I'm trying to think of what the first step would be for me in working on this....

Something like... a quick question I can ask myself in the moment.. such as "is that thought really accurate?" or something like that.

Any suggestions? Anyone have some quick tools they use to stop their thoughts from running wild?

- Nik

how about this? its what i do. it will become almost automatic with time.

what am i feeling?

why?

what thought do i have?

is it reasonable? or not?

feelings are described by one word. if you need more, its a thought.

with practice, this can become very fast for you and easy.

i would begin with the feeling, then the thought. because thoughts come from feelings.

yes, at first it is HARD. its WORK. i guarantee ya that. but its what must be done to heal...and become a more positive person. its easier to stay how we are than change it. at least at first.

but any way you go, its work.

I am dealing with this right now with anxiety. Trying to not get so caught up in it. I guess the first thing would be to identify how we feel. Then we admit that it's just a feeling, not a fact. I have even gone so far as to say to myself STOP. I also am learning to do breathing exercises. To listen to my breath, to focus on it. It helps me to stop obsessing about whatever it is that is bothering me at the moment. Also to realize that it will pass - it wont' stay with us forever.

I don't like having to do this "work." But as Jody said, we have to do it. We dont' have much of a choice, do we? It's how we learn and grow.

Nik,

I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time now. What about doing just what you wrote--ask yourself "is that thought really accurate"? You can also use part of the 5 Steps, like HALT, and breathe first.

Jody and BG: I don't want to hijack Nik's thread, but don't thoughts come first, before the feeling, only we don't recognize them? That's what CBT teaches.

Not for me Wondering. Not all the time. Many times the feelings come first. I experience a lot of free-floating anxiety. They are not related to any thoughts at all - they are purely physical. As the anxiety progresses, I then sometimes ascribe thoughts to the feelings of anxiety. What I am learning is how NOT to ascribe thoughts to the feelings. To realize that these are just sensations and they will go away.

P.S. - I don't know anything about CBT.

your right, wondering. i dont know why i wrote that backwards. i meant "feelings come first"/ DUH. im glad you caught that. brain fart.

imho only, physical feelings always come from thoughts. it may be one you dont recognize, or even have subconciously, but its there.

I guess we have different opinions of this. My physical feelings sometimes come first - there are no thoughts attached to them. The thoughts come later.

the thoughts often are NOT attached to the feeling, not conciously.

of course we can agree to disagree, ((BG)) but this is what i was taught in counseling.

feelings never just show up.

just my 2 cents...

I figured it out Jody. If I am correct, you mean "feelings" as in an emotion. I mean "feelings" as in a physical sensation. There is a difference.

feelings=emotions

physical stuff can have many diff causes. now when i get my panic/anxiety crap i will have a fast breathing rate, i am jittery, i shake, i think im gonna die. but its from the cptsd.

"""An emotion is a term for a mental and physiological state associated with a wide variety of feelings, thoughts, and behavior. Emotions are subjective experiences, or experienced from a individual point of view"""

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotion

if any of that makes any sense, it didnt much to me.

i just go with what makes sense to me and the way my T explained it and exercises i have done is how i base my own beliefs.

and this...""""The word feeling has several possible definitions. The word was first used in the English language to describe the physical sensation of touch either through experience or perception. The word is also used to describe physical sensation apart from touch such as "a feeling of warmth".[1] In psychology the word is usually reserved for the conscious subjective experience of emotion""""

same page.

""""Perception of the physical world does not necessarily result in a universal reaction among receivers (see emotions), but varies depending on one's tendency to handle the situation, how the situation relates to the receiver's past experiences, and any number of other factors. Feelings are also known as a state of consciousness, such as that resulting from emotions, sentiments or desires.""" i liked that. its like...feelings are the outward manifestation of a emotion.

thanks guys - i like all of your suggestions. i like the idea of first just recognizing that i'm experiencing an emotion - that I am not my emotion. stepping back and realizing this first and then trying to name it... what am i feeling? then asking myself if the thoughts that caused the feeling are accurate/reasonable... and is there a more moderate way to view the situation...

thanks for the help.. sorry for the slow response, I've been on and off pretty suicidal this past couple of weeks... really mood swing-y (feeling dark and suicidal and then feeling great.. so challenging).

i have decided to try and stay connected to bpd resources and the board - even if that just means coming here and reading.

Nik

Glad you're here Nik!!!!