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The holidays can fall anywhere on the wonderful-to-awful scale, depending on your childhood experiences, whether you're with friends/family or alone, and whether this time of year triggers any of your issues.

How did your holiday go?

If it was not all that hot, were you able to use any of your skills/tools to manage? If so, how did that work for you?


jim

Jim, I celebrate Chanukah and it was very quiet - it usually is. We don't do anything special - my H and I exchange a gift and I light the candles. I did decorate my mantle with holiday cards and a blue garland with little dreidels on it. Other than my son, we have no family around here to celebrate with. So for me, there was no drama, no hassles.

I hope you had a good holiday Jim!

I spent the day focused on making Christmas pleasant for my family so I did not really stop to think about how my day went as I was cooking and cleaning. My younger daughter said she had a Merry Christmas before going to bed on Christmas day and my husband thanked me for making Christmas special a few days later but my older daughter did not indicate any appreciation for anything (she is a teenager so that is typical for her age, I think). Other than being annoyed with my husband (it is harder to tolerate him now that I have more time to spend without him around) I think it was a better than average day. My younger daughter is the one who gets the most excited about Christmas so as long as she was happy with her Christmas this year then I am happy. I think I could do it again next year, LOL!

I did not have much money to spend on presents but I was able to get my daughters some nice things with what money I had. I picked out a pink DVD player for my older daughter at Target while she was with my younger daughter (I took them shopping with me since we all had to take the bus together anyway) and before I could even check out with it my daughters found me in the store and told me I had to come see this DVD player (the one I had already picked out for my daughter) so she ended up knowing what she got before Christmas but at least I knew it was exactly what she wanted. I got my younger daughter a radio alarm clock that she can use to play her iPod on (she earned the iPod by selling 1200+ boxes of Girl Scout cookies), although it was not the exact one I wanted since the one I wanted to get her was $50 and the one I got her was $20. The nice thing about the alarm is that it is not as annoying sounding as the one she has been using and it can be set so that there is one alarm for the weekdays when she has school and another for the weekend when she can sleep in after staying up late. I also got her a case for her iPod that has a portable speaker so now she can listen to music in her room or anywhere she goes using either her stereo, her headphones (that came with the iPod) or her portable speaker. I have a plug in speaker that she can borrow when she wants to listen to music in another room of the house without using up the batteries with the portable speaker. My husband and I got new cell phones for Christmas since we renewed our contract and had an allowance for two free RAZR cell phones. I felt good that I was able to come up with food gifts using my food stamps so everyone had plenty of packages to open and we all have lots of treats to last awhile.

Maybe she can teach me how to use the one I got for Christmas because at this point, I'm ready to either smash it into a million pieces, sell it on eBay (the listing ends on Thursday!) or ship it back to Apple for a full refund. That thing is so blasted infuriating, I'm fit to be tied!

(Jim, I've been using my tools ... as evidenced by the iPod still being in full working order! But I'm still seriously frustrated beyond belief by this blasted thing.)

My daughter's iPod is the classic 80GB. I just plugged it into my computer and it seems to have done what it needs to do by registering itself and installing some program through my computer. All I had to do was accept the terms. There is a web address for the owner's manual (http://www.apple.com/support/manuals/ipod) since one was not included, just a small Quick Start guide.

My daughter also earned a $25 iTune card and once she spends her balance there I don't think we will be paying money for that. She was able to get two albums of children's songs for $9.99 (25 songs) and $12.99 (100 songs) but otherwise it is $.99 per song! I think it would be cheaper to buy CDs and download them (my CD player / writer on my computer seems to be having a problem for some reason since it won't eject for me to even put a CD in so that is not an option right now). My older daughter has an MP3 player and I think that is all I would need if I were to get something like that since the iPod has more features than I would ever need - you can purchase movies, TV shows, audiobooks and games in addition to music.

I spent christmas with the stomach flu alternating between being asleep and vomiting. Considering how little I think of the holidays this was, ironically, the best one I've had in awhile...

But Jim, how was your holiday?

I didn't do great, but I think I did my best. Didn't really have a bpd moment until yesterday, and after almost a week with my family, really wasn't that bad. 3 days away to regroup and then I go back for a few days when my brother from Illinois comes. Haven't seen him in a decade, I'm more than a bit nervous about that, so wish me luck.

!

Best. Christmas. Ever.

Jon put up a Christmas tree while his boys were here the weekend before and we all decorated it together. I made my family's traditional Christmas morning breakfast for he and I and together we baked my favorite coffee bread. We had the morning to ourselves, lunch with the neighbors and dinner with our friend Slash's family. Sat together in the recliner and just gazed at the lights.

I haven't had a Christmas tree since I moved out of my folks' house.
I haven't baked in YEARS.
I haven't felt this comfortable, this accepted, this loved in about forever.

I'm so happy you had such a great Christmas, Minx. That's nice.

Mine was pretty good. I always have to use a bit of distress tolerance. I had only two hours with both of my children on Christmas morning before my son had to go to work, and then I was alone Christmas evening while they were celebrating with their father and stepmother and stepsiblings. I still miss being part of a whole family. So there's always a tinge of sadness that I have to overcome.

The best day for me was yesterday. My son had a day off, and so he and my daughter came over in the afternoon. We watched some football, I cooked a nice dinner, and then we watched some of Planet Earth together. It was so pleasant, better than Christmas itself, because there was no time pressure, no worries about the gifts and all that, and I could really relax and just *be*, which is hard for me.

It's so difficult for me to get time with both my children in the same place at the same time. My daughter lives a thousand miles away and doesn't get home all that often, and then my son's work schedule, especially at this time of year, is nuts, so even then I'm more often seeing them one at a time. I really cherish our together times.

Minx, I'm so happy for you! I'm glad you had a wonderful holiday! Coffee bread sounds wonderful!

By the way, if you drive up to 116th Street between Spring Mill and Ditch, on the right side going west you will see the most gorgeous Christmas decorations! My son drove up past there the other night. There are blue lights in the trees, and they look like they're dripping down. I've never seen anything like it! The most gorgeous decorations I've ever seen! Of course you have to be careful if there are cars behind you in case you slow down to look. But I tell you, they're magnificent!!!!

Gosh, I really miss that. People don't decorate up here like they do in Indy.

I'm really glad to hear people overall had a great holiday.

My holiday wasn't bad. I got some new toys for my laptop and my husband got me a one hour massage, which I DESPERATELY need. We spent Christmas with my inlaws which was cool because I love being around them. But it also sucked because I had a pretty big health scare recently and that's all they wanted to talk about. Well, that and the crappy economy! All in all, not too bad.

It's nice to hear many of your Christmases went well.

Mine was good too. My H and I stayed in town an extra night to spend Christmas Day with my brother and his wife and two kids, which was really fun. I love watching the young ones this time of year! I made a quiche and some coffee cake and we arrived there at a whopping 6 am--before the 8year old woke up. It was fun.

I missed my Dad--he's traveling in South America this holiday season, last year it was Vietnam--but I'm getting more and more used to the idea that he's just not into the whole 'family gathering' thing. It's okay.

Then my H and I went to his parents house for 3 days. I love them!!! They are really fantastic people. His brother stayed there too, so having all kinds of 'normal' family fun at this time of year was a real treat for me. Not something I'm accustomed to, but getting there. This year it really struck me how much I thrive in situations like that--where everyone pulls together instead of apart. Having familial support is not something I'm used to, but it's nice to see that it happens.

My H and I had a minor fight (pretty heated but didn't last long) the day after Christmas. I used my tools and was able to totally keep my cool and logically sort things out, which helped to diffuse the situation. That's extreme progress for me. He was being pretty mean and all I felt like doing at the time was packing up the car and leaving. But, with the help of things I have learned in recovery, all was fine and we went on to enjoy the rest of our trip.

All in all it was a great Christmas. I feel very lucky and grateful to have such fantastic people in my life.

I'm glad you had a good holiday H. Your in-laws sound like lovely people!

I'm glad that nobody reported a major borderline breakdown! It sounds like, overall, we either managed our way through or had a good holiday. I'm glad to hear it.

I had a nice holiday. Everybody came to my house for a few days. I roasted a turkey, my first, and it turned out wonderful. I made too many sugar cookies and snickerdoodles -- I'll be eating them until Valentine's Day.

My favorite gift was the new kitchen faucet my parents got me. I know I'm getting old when that's my favorite gift.

Ooooh, we had that one in our last house - it's GREAT!

That's a beautiful sink. Does the faucet function as the sprayer?

I learned a huge lesson christmas day and something perhaps to hold onto when I go into worrying about what hasn't happened.

I read my horoscope, a little habit of mine. It said......



I thought ut oh.... geez sounds like I am in for some trouble today....but I was so glad I had read this bit later.

So things were going pretty well, laid back, dinner was on the go, was a lil tired, but content and just thought well, this has been a really nice day...i engaged with the kids, really enjoyed messing about and watching crap TV... was just thinking though ha ha horoscope....sorry but you got it wrong today nothing really gone awry cept dinner time, thought again oh well maybe that was just the thing!.

OK so dinner was cooking, put back a bit due to eating all the goodies and the huge breakfast...had kinda thought oh sod it so what if we eat later.... no rush, will drag the day out a bit and make it longer..... nothing better for kids than knowing they are allowed to stay up extra late, n break some lil rules eh? (thanks Jim) So just as I was about to go and get last bits of dinner going, out went the lights....power cut.

First instinct reponse panic! ya know damn what are we gonna d?, it's dark can't find the torch etc.... followed by laughter as I remembered the horoscope... well as if anything could be more memorable or magical than a power cut on xmas day. So out came torches and candles, n my lil boy said what are we going to do now? I just said well I am going to keep dinner going via candle light ( we have a gas cooker, yay!) and hey I guess we might have to talk instead of watch TV. So the next while was spent with me in the kitchen and three little faces glowing by candle light, giggling and cuddling as I recanted stories of the day they were born and how special they are to me, we talked of lots of lovely things and fun things like the when they started talking, walking etc.. ya know what was the most wonderful bonding experience. It's also what my children said was the highlight of the day when we sat talking at dinner later....with lights fully restored.

So I learned....sure plan, sure do what you can to make things great, wonderful, but let go of the stress of perfection, you never know what you will face until it comes, and good things can come from those things you would never have planned, nor expected. But in the end what matters is that we had eachother...will be the most memorable experience for me, not cos the lights were out, but just being there with my children and hey being excited just to talk, bond, support and love eachother!

All in all a pretty good day!
(So umm what was I stressing about? Thanks to all who posted in my previous thread....I didn't return, but did read and digest some and then decided to just get on with it. But lots of little snippets of it popped back to me during my day.)

Tracy, I'm so glad your Christmas went well!! No lights might have been just the thing needed to bring out the 'family' stuff. You have really brought a big grin to my face with this post, thanks, I'm happy for you and your family.

That's a wonderful story Tracy! I imagined your kids sitting at the table with shining faces, hearing stories of their births! You really did make lemonade out of lemons on this one!!!!

It's beautiful Jim! What is the little thing on the right side? Is it a hot-water spout or maybe a soap dispenser?

The faucet is one of those where you pull the whole head out and press a button and it sprays. The little thingy on the right side is a soap dispenser. If it weren't for that, I'd have a hole there; that's where the sprayer was on my old faucet!

Tracy, I am so happy for you that you made a good Christmas for your kids. The power cut was happy serendipity, to be sure, because you were able to make magic out of it. Mark my words, your kids will reminisce about this Christmas when they're 30.

jim

What a wonderful story Tracy. Thank you for sharing.

Jim, I'm happy for you that you had a nice holiday. Too many treats sounds like a good problem to have in my book and that faucet looks really cool.

Thanks for starting this thread, btw. I have enjoyed hearing of everyone else's holiday!