BPDRecovery.com: Forums

The other day I got a call from my university's fundraising department, of course asking for money (since that is what fundraising departments do). I told them I would donate if they would direct my donation to the university counseling center where I received services--having worked for the fundraising program in the past I knew that wasn't on their list! However, after a brief consultation with their supervisor they figured out how to do it, and sent me the donation form. As I was filling it out, I was caught by surprise with the urge to express my gratitude for the services I received in a way other than financial contributions (which is next to nothing, less than a thousandth of the value of the services I had access to over the years). On impulse, I decided to write a letter to the director of the center. This has proven harder than I expected. As background, this director was not pleased with the level of care I required early in treatment when I was all-out BPD, and after about a year of therapy decided they could not meet my needs & wanted to kick me out of therapy. My therapist (as an intern) stood up to her & prevented her from discontinuing services. I had a very rocky relationship with this individual over the next several years, and it actually took quite a bit of work in therapy to get over my paranoia that she would change her mind and kick me out anyway--even when I was no longer considered a "difficult" client. I still hold the record in the center for the most number of visits (by far), and they use me as a case study on a regular basis (just was asked to answer some questions for an article one therapist in the center is doing). So I'm still a familiar figure in the center even though I no longer receive services there--after graduating I continued seeing my therapist, but as a private client.

Here's what I have on the letter so far....
"A few weeks ago I received a call from the Telefund asking for my first official "alumni" donation. I agreed to donate and, on a whim, requested the funds be sent to the counseling center. A mere $20 is such an insubstantial amount when I consider the financial value of the services I received during my years at the university, but for me the act of donating means much more than just giving money. As I filled out the donation form it literally brought me to tears, as I thought back on the opportunities I've been blessed with because of my experiences in the center. I can state, with absolute confidence, that if it was not for the role that [my T], and the many other individuals I worked with, played in my life I would not be the person I am today, and as I've had the chance to interact with others who face similar challenges and weren't blessed enough to receive adequate help I can't help but question where I would have ended up under other circumstances. "

The question is (I had a point, really)--do I end the letter here? Or do I go on to share my feelings on a deeper level? I was going to go into more detail on exactly what services were helpful, but was able to fill out a survey to convey some of those thoughts instead. I'm trying to decide if sharing my feelings would be helpful, or if it would be an effort to convince this individual that I turned out okay (I think the need to do that is just a lingering need to prove to this person I was worth the effort).

Well, my thinking, reading that, it's that to me it feels pretty complete and saying more isn't necessary.

Less is always better than more. You don't want to repeat yourself. I think you explained how you feel in an appropriate manner. Letters, articles, etc. should be short and sweet! You did a great job!

anything in writing can come back to haunt you later. make sure if you decide to do it, you dont mind anyone reading it whenever. it might go in your file and be visible to future employees or such.

Thanks for the responses, I will be sending the letter out today!



I'm not at all concerned with others reading it, in fact I asked her to share it with several individuals I worked with while I was there. And since I'm glad to give any information on my experience that may help others, I don't mind if she shares it with future faculty or interns as well, I know I'm already used as a "case history", may as well provide them with further information. Honestly, I see this as a huge indicator of my progress in and of itself--seven years ago I was obsessed with my privacy now, for the most part, I am comfortable sharing just about anything (though not everything, think that's appropriate boundaries).