BPDRecovery.com: Forums

Hello everyone

After a couple of good sessions in therapy, dealing with heavy stuff, traumatic memories, etc, I am crashing again.

I was getting all these images of taking lots of benzos, loading my pockets with rocks, and walking into the sea at night. Then washing up ashore the next day - alive or dead?

Also, thoughts of getting trashed on alcohol, smashing the bottle and ripping my arms to shreds. Smashing everything in the house up.

Mostly, what I feel is a vague unsettled feeling, though. Nothing dramatic. Also, nothing major is happening, except I have to go back to uni next week and I am a bit stressed. And depressed that it will take YEARS of therapy to restore any kind of normal functioning to me. The time I've already lost, being sick. Etc Etc Etc.

I rang the crisis mental health people and she said this sort of stuff was chronic with borderline personality, that it would take years to resolve, and that she couldn't help me. At least I stopped myself after one drink.

Don't see T until Wednesday.

?

Sonickel, I'm sorry you're feeling so poorly right now. I would recommend sitting with the feelings for a little while. This page might help / offer some guidance in that area.

If you're on the brink of taking actions as you've described them, I really encourage you to check here first.

Hi everyone,

Still here.
Thanks for your words of support.
Now I've been feeling reasonably happy!
Strange how feelings change so suddenly.....

I'm glad you're feeling better today!