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I at first thought this should be posted elsewhere, but I think it's really a mental health issue. Do you know about Susan Boyle, the British woman who caused a sensation on that TV show (can't remember the name now) and now her video on youtube has been watched by millions?

If you haven't yet, watch her video. I am as guilty as anyone else who judged first by personal appearance. But it really is our insides that count, not our outsides. When will we (all of mankind) learn this? I always think that blind people have an advantage because they don't judge by appearances. What does anyone think about all of this? You have to see her video before you will understand what I'm talking about.

Honestly when I saw her the very first moment I thought she looked dowdy...but not ugly. By the time she finished singing I saw her as beautiful....really. Idk....I love photography and have always loved doing portraits of people who have "interesing" features....in other words...appear ugly to most....but who are really wonderful inside. I always wanted to bring out their inner essence in their portrait and for the most part I have been successful. It is amazingly fun and addicting! There has only been one person who I couldn't get to look good in a photo....and I'm talking a real photo...with film...and no doctoring.

Susan Boyle has a beautiful face....small but peaceful eyes....nice skin...nice hair.....she's like a gem waiting to be shined up (I believe)...maybe we all are!!!!

Thanks for asking....it's been fun to ponder.

I don't know how other's will take my point on this, but I choose to share it anyway.

First impressions matter. Evolutionarily speaking, it was essential for us to be able to recognize friend or foe in an instant. Heck, it still is.....walking down the street and you see someone who looks unsavory. They might not actually be unsavory, but if you choose to ignore your senses, you could get hurt.

We form our first impressions in something like 3 seconds. That's quick! We use all of our senses, our intuition and ability to read their body language as keys. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. In fact, I think it's useful. And, with the heightened other senses in the case of the blind....I believe they do it too, maybe even more so than those of us with sight. They may not judge by appearances, but they do form initial impressions just like us. They just have less to go on.

However, there will always be times when that first impression is dead wrong. It may not be 'right' to judge by initial interpretation because people are so much more complex than that..... but it's a reality we cannot fight. In the case of Susan Boyle (which I'm inclined to believe was a set-up for ratings) I don't believe the first impression was wrong. Just, that she had more to her than that-- talent that can't be seen on the outside. But the first impression was correct-- dowdy spinster....it's what she calls herself!

I think knowing and accepting this reality-- that first impressions count-- means that we can be better equipped to control other's first impressions of us. We can choose to express our insides on the outside, minimizing the negative to the best of our ability. We can walk into a room with an air of confidence even if we are shaking on the inside. What buisness is it of others, our nerves? We can choose to look others in the eye.....again, showing confidence. We can dress appropriately for any given situation, showing respect. We can choose our words, etc., etc.....

The point being this is something that is going to happen whether we like it or not......maybe knowing and accepting that can help us choose what first impression we want to project. Really, to me, it's liberating! Maybe it goes further than that too....we can be conscious that we do it too and remind ourselves that the book isn't always (usually even?) like the cover page would want us to believe.

Good topic, Wondering!

For what it's worth, I think it's basic human nature to make split-second judgments about people. I think it's tied to the fight-or-flight self-preservation instinct. We have to assess people in an instant to determine if they're a threat to us or not when we're walking down the street, in a store, in a parking garage, etc. Just because we see someone on television or in a magazine doesn't mean we stop that instantaneous judgment. A person is a person to our eyes and the judgment happens.

I think it's what happens after the judgment that counts. If we characterize someone as dowdy or frumpy, so what? Does that stop us from reaching out to make friends? Does that cause us to throw things and yell insults? It's our actions following the judgment that speak volumes about US, not the other person.

Honestly, my first impression of her was that she was a courageous, spunky woman who wasn't going to let an audience of assumptions stop her. I loved her attitude when people laughed at her age!