Home  •  FAQ  •   Forums

It is currently Thu Mar 28, 2024 7:54 am

All times are UTC - 7 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 9 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: Panicking
PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 7:00 pm 
New Member
New Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 6:00 pm
Posts: 169
I really need some help. I'm feeling some really intense emotions right now and I don't know how to calm down. I really don't want to cut. I'm shaking so bad. I don't know why certain people trigger such reactions in me. I need to learn how to separate myself from people. I'm jealous of this relationship. I'm jealous that these two people are hanging out and didn't invite me. I feel so much panic in my gut that I don't know what to do. I know no one is mad at me. I know I'm not losing this person. I'm just so sad. And scared. I'm sobbing I'm so upset. And I feel so much panic that I'm having a hard time breathing. Argh..


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Panicking
PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 7:20 pm 
New Member
New Member

Joined: Sun Jul 12, 2009 8:38 pm
Posts: 20
Oh, lbc, I know how this can feel. I don't know the right words to tell you right now except that I am here with you. I care what you are going through. Take deep breaths and focus on what you have learned about coping with this. You aren't being abandoned, you're ok.

Someone with something more helpful to offer will be along. I'm here for you though. Don't cut.......that doesn't solve anything and we both know it. Go ahead and talk if you need to. I will stay with you until you calm down. I don't know what else to do......I haven't started treatment yet so have no tools to offer, only understanding and commiseration.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Panicking
PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 7:25 pm 
Community Leader
Community Leader
User avatar

Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2008 7:56 am
Posts: 1465
If you are having a hard time breathing and can't get control over your thoughts.....do just that. BREATHE. Focus on your breath. Count how long you can inhale, hold it for a second or two and then slowly release the air, counting again. Repeat until you can inhale for 15-25 counts (not seconds, counts---just go 1,2,3, ect. as fast or slow as you need to. Repeat. Play with the breath-- how long can you hold it? Focus on the physical (not cutting, though!), just the physical reaction to your emotions. If you can gain control over the physical, the mind slows too.

The deep breaths actually activate a part of your nervous system that will help you relax. When your body is calm, it will be easier to rationally see the situation for what it is.

I'm sorry, I don't have much time. I don't have an internet connection at home right now and I'm leaving the place where I have one typing now. Just try to stay with your bodily sensations, in the moment, and do what you can do to relax the body. The mind generally follows.

Oh.....cutting may help you short-term, but definitely not long-term. I know you seek that long-term solution. Remember every time you give in to that urge to cut, you are feeding an unhealthy addiction (prolonging the problem, using a crutch). There are other tools, I know you have them in your arsenal. Use them now-- don't prolong this; try to make this choice the choice to get through this hard time healthily. Next time it will become easier, and the next, and the next.

What about the 5 steps? How about trying that for this dilemma?

I know you can do this, Ibcgal. Breathe. In and out. That's all you have to do for now. It works! Then maybe write out your thoughts or go for a walk. But, for the moment, just listen to your body and help it to relax. You are in charge of it, not the other way around. You can and will do this. I believe in you!

_________________
Temet Nosce-- The Oracle
"Pain is resistance to change."
--Ida Rolf

BRING IT ON!! -- personal mantra


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Panicking
PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 7:54 pm 
New Member
New Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 6:00 pm
Posts: 169
Thank you, both of you. I feel a little calmer. I called a friend and talked to her about it. I feel better. It felt really good to talk to someone about my feelings. I've been holding the situation in so long that it felt really good to get it out of myself. I'm trying to keep breathing. I haven't cut. I know that won't solve anything. I think my biggest fear is being abandoned. The friend I talked to suggested that I talk to this person about it because she repeatedly triggers this response in me. In the past I would avoid someone who triggered this kind of reaction and would then drink over it. I don't want to lose my sobriety, though. I think maybe I should try talking to her, because I'm seriously thinking about ending the friendship. It causes me so much emotional pain. Not because of anything she's doing. It's my issue. She has really good boundaries. And I'm very good about not acting on my feelings in front of her. She has no idea. I just feel this fight or flight reaction in me that is really intense. It scares me. I'm glad I didn't get into my car and drive.

Maybe I just need to find a way to make her less important. And I do that. My life is very full. I have other friends. Maybe I should tell her it hurt my feelings that I wasn't invited. I don't know. But now I'm starting to get upset again, so I think I'll do the five steps as Harmonium suggested.


Stop / HALT
Just stop and breathe for a moment. Are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? The HALT feelings are physically-based and only temporary. Remember that!

Hungry. I'm going to keep breathing.

Determine what the problem is
Sure there can be (and usually ARE) more than just *one* problem but even still, write the problem(s) down on a piece of paper.

R and M went to a meeting to hear R speak and didn't invite me. I've been feeling very threatened about M so it triggered a lot of panic in me. I feel that she is replacing me.

Come up with THREE possible courses of action
Start with one of your problems and come up with three (and only three - not a hundred, not just one) possible things you could do.
1. Don't do anything. Just leave it be.
2. Say something to R in confidence. Say I'm thinking about ending
the friendship because it's too painful for me.
3. I can't think of a third course of action.

Figure out which one is best for now
You don't have to make a lifelong commitment right now and if things don't work out quite the way you'd hoped they would, you can work the steps again and again and again - just like everyone else does!

I think I'll do number 1 right now. They are both at the meeting so there's nothing I can do. I'm just going to try to focus on taking care of myself right now and stay present.

DO IT!
I say that assuming you haven't chosen suicide. Obviously, that's the ultimate final solution (assuming you'd succeed). Nothing will happen to change the situation/problem until you actually DO something, no matter how small. A change in your situation, outlook, etc. requires a change from within yourself. In order for that internal change to have effect on the outside, tangible world, you must take action to implement that change.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Panicking
PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 8:09 pm 
New Member
New Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 6:00 pm
Posts: 169
I'm still feeling upset. I'm trying to keep breathing..


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Panicking
PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 8:30 pm 
New Member
New Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed May 27, 2009 6:36 pm
Posts: 187
Location: Chicago
lbcgal, try this to keep your body relaxed and calm(remember, if our minds are in a tizzy our bodies will be too, and vice versa). It's called Progressive Muscle Relaxation. My old anxiety T used to have me do this along with breathing exercises and imagery - http://www.guidetopsychology.com/pmr.htm

Just sit with your feelings for the moment. You don't have to make any decisions right now at all. Keep breathing! Take a nice warm bath or a shower, or do something mundane(like washing dishes. My house never looks cleaner when I'm upset!). When you're ready, check out all the tools on here. Do them all if you'd like. I know sometimes I go through them all 2 or 3 times over.

_________________
The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong won't.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Panicking
PostPosted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 12:10 am 
New Member
New Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 6:00 pm
Posts: 169
Thank you all..I really appreciate it!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Panicking
PostPosted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 6:00 am 
New Member
New Member
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jun 14, 2009 4:44 pm
Posts: 66
how are you feeling now, ibcgal? are you any calmer?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Panicking
PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 6:12 pm 
New Member
New Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 6:00 pm
Posts: 169
I'm doing a lot better, thank you. I'm still having problems sleeping, but the anxiety is still there. I talked to a couple of my friends about it and got some relief but I still need to work on my coping skills.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 9 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 7 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 19 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group