Ash wrote:
I actually found great self-benefits in assisting others (or this place wouldn't be here!)
Yeah, it makes me feel good about myself, too.
Quote:
When confronted with someone else's problems, I was in the helicopter above their forest and I could totally see the big picture, guide them out of the dense & confusing woods. ... If you were reading a post online from someone else, what would you advise that person to do, see, try? What would your "wise mind" or Genuine Self or whatever stance you use for your journey say to the upset NAM in the midst of the melt-down/blow-up?
Hmmm yeah maybe I should try this. Kind of like the idea of soothing the inner child - try seeing the dysfunctional NAM as a whole separate person and have the rational NAM give her advice... that might work.
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The more you practice seeing the big picture and the more frequently you say the positive words of encouragement, the more ingrained they become to you yourself.
That is really what I have been hoping for. I am also posting to a sobriety website and a while ago I posted there about feeling like I don't belong there because I kept falling off the wagon. And someone there responded to me that: "The longer you stay away from recovering people the more likely you are to continue to drink." So I have stayed there and I hope that the positive stuff I am learning from them will sink in and eventually I will give up drinking completely. I do think it is helping - I definitely don't drink nearly as much as I used to and I find that I do not use alcohol to cope at all anymore. I am slowly replacing a bad habit with healthier ones.
Quote:
Look at the pieces of advice you give to others. You already have the wisdom inside yourself. It's there. It's not something you're incapable of learning or holding onto. You just have a mental block in allowing yourself the gift of providing your own self with those bits of wisdom. ... It'll be a while still before you're able to invoke that insight and knowledge in the midst of a maelstrom in your daily life...
SO TRUE re: the mental block... but I kind of feel like... after 2+ years of posting here, shouldn't I be past that block yet?
I do take great comfort in this post, Ash. Thank you for writing it. You have given me hope... maybe I just need to be more patient with myself. Maybe I need to focus on the steps I
have taken instead of the goals I have not yet reached.